a/n: everyone thank Soph (vhscadie) for reminding me that the last chapter ended on a cliff hanger
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why did I say that
why did I say that
why did I say that
I mean, Will doesn't seem like the type of person to be against gay people or anything like that, but who knows. I can't hear anything except my own breathing. I'm hugging my knees and shaking back and forth to prevent myself from crying.
Will puts his stuff down and stands up. Is he leaving? No, instead of walking out he turns around and sits next to me on the bed. He hugs me.
"It's okay Mike. It's okay" He says. "I am too."
I'm no longer shaking but, my breath catches. Did I hear that right? Will pulls away from me and we turn to face each other on the bed, but I'm staring down at my hands in my lap, fidgeting with my fingers.
"So..." I start.
"Yeah..." Will responds, laughing softly.
I look up, and we make eye contact. My face starts to feel hot. Shit.
"How long have you known?" Will asks.
"Uh, Well- Um..." I start.
I'm not really sure when I realized that I was gay. I mean, I was always raised with the belief that only straight relationships existed. But I always knew that I wasn't really interested in girls and that I felt differently about Will than my other friends. I realized my feelings for Will were more than platonic around when he got trapped in the Upside Down, then El came and I just kind of... projected my feelings for Will onto her. I didn't intentionally do it, and I figured out what I had done a few weeks later. But I can't tell Will all of that. So what should I say?
"It's hard to say exactly, I think I've kind of always known that I wasn't really into girls so..." I shrug. "Which sounds weird, because less than a week ago I was dating a girl but, it just took me a while to accept myself." I say. Definitely not the best response, but it'll work. "If any of that makes sense."
"Yeah, that makes sense." Will reassures.
"So, how long have you known?" I ask.
Will sighs and looks down. "Honestly, I think I've known since I was like five. I brought this drawing home from school and my dad apparently thought that it was 'too colorful to be made by anyone other than a gay person.'"Will begins 'drawing' circles with his left index finger on my blanket. "Obviously, I never admitted to being gay when he 'accused' me, but I've known since then."
He looks back up at me, sadder than earlier. I'm not really sure how to react. So, I reach my right hand out to hold his left hand.
I've done this so many times throughout my friendship with Will. It's just something I know feels comforting to him. But, this time feels so much different than the others. We sit there like that for a few minutes, just me holding his hand. It feels nice.
"Mike I-" Will starts. Interrupted by my mom calling us downstairs for dinner.
"What were you going to say?" I ask.
"Never mind, it can wait until after dinner"
"Oh, okay."
We head downstairs to the table. What was he going to say?
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after dinner + getting ready for bed
Will is leaned up against my bed, drawing, again. While I'm laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
"Hey Will?" I turn my head to the side, so I can see him.
"Hm?" He's very focused on this drawing.
"What were you trying to say earlier, before dinner?"
He stops drawing, sits up, and turns to face me.
"Just that I um..." He seems really nervous.
"Will, whatever it is just say it, I won't judge you or anything." I move to sit beside him on the floor.
"Mike I... I like you, as more than just a friend."
He likes me too?
"You do?" I'm trying to seem like I haven't been waiting for him to say that for the past two years.
"Yeah, is that okay?" He looks both scared and hopeful for my response.
"Yeah, definitely okay." I take a deep breath. "Will?"
"Yeah?"
"I uh, I like you too"
His eyes widen, almost as if asking "really?" and I nod. Suddenly, it feels like we've been there forever, just looking at each other. The next thing I know our faces are only a couple inches apart and I can feel Will's breath. My face feels warm. For the first time, I notice the tiny green flecks in Will's eyes. But, his eyes aren't looking back at mine. I move my left hand up to the side of his face. Our faces get closer and I slightly tilt my head.
And then it happens. I kiss Will Byers.
I kiss Will Byers, and he kisses me back.
