excruciating but exquisite

chapter 5.

She went to her room and as she stepped inside, her eyes landed upon the portrait that hw made of hers place at the extreme corner of her room. All the events started to flash in front of her eyes. Her nostrils flared looking at the portrait made by him. Taking long strads she took the canvass and stared at it for a moment. All the things he said her today, started to replay in her mind,

"stop with all this bullship and playing a victim card. "

"U were enjoying equally. N about my paintings! "

"and rahi baat tumhe bistar tak lane ki toh uske liye mujhe itni mehnat nahi karni padti. "

"trapping a girl like you is a child's play for me, 

"u are an absolute cinch darling!"

"Chahta toh bohot kuch kr skta tha tumhare sath, u were oh so ready to surren."

All these craps were ecoing in her mind she got so enraged and agitated, completely loosing her sense and slammed the painting on the ground with her full might. The frame broke from one of the edge. She sat on the bed with a thud, holding her head and fisting hwr mane in frustation. Why everyone treats her as if she is good for nothing!

She was not like this before but time made her like this. She had developed insecurities ,under confidence and inferiority complex about herself with time and treatment she get from other. One who feels bad about herself oversmall things, typically due to low self esteem that was caused by the people around her. She never get good treatment from anyone close to her. She could not easily take anything against herself. She was a broken girl from inside who needed support. She started looking for support outside her home in the world. Her mother left her when she a baby to be with someone else.Her father always aspired for a son, but got a daughter whom he did not liked at all. Far from liking, he didn't even even paid attention to her, about the happenings in her life. He was just so nonchalant to look out for her daughter. And  about ranjbeer!  who claimed to be her partner, to marry her, would take care of her, did nothing but  belittled her from time to time. She was fed up with all these toxicity in her life. She wanted to leave all this and go somewhere far away. In a place where people respect her, give her some love, that she desires and deserves . When she met that sidharth she didn't know why but she felt as  sudden pull towards him.  towards his art. But he did something similar to what others did to her. Since she had become very fragile after suffering this kind of humiliation since childhood. So she took it in a wrong way,  plus the fact thst was being infedile to her fiance by getting close to another man.

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Sidharth's was busy fixing his room, post the debacle happened between them. His mind was totally consumed with her thoughts. The infatuation he felt for her was massive. Though he was quit upset and agonised with the way she behaved today. He so wanted to give it back to her . How dare she slapped him on face! Not once but four times and put those serious allegations on him and his profession. He couldn't control himself, his nerves were about to burst anytime. So taking a safer approach, he took his brush and emerged himself on the plain and impassive canvass. This was the only way for him to subside the rage building up inside him. Her face immerse in front of him every time he move his brush. Amidst to all that, the door bell rang. He made an irritated face as he hate disturbances while he indulge himself in painting.

" sir ye madam ne bijwaya hai " a man standing at his doorsteps told him.

"kon madam? And kya hai ye? " he asked and look at the parcel.

"shehnaaz mam ne. Jyada kuch nahi kaha bas dene ke liye bola. Have a god day sir " he left the place immediately.

He anxiously unwrapped it . He somewhere expected, what it could be and it turned exactly the same. The portrait of her that he made and gifted her.  Though it didn't came as a surprise for him, but still he felt annoyed and a bit insulted as well.  What was she trying to prove with this! That he was the one who is at fault? And the painting was not even in a good condition! the edge was broken as if someone has tried  to break it or maybe have thrown it on a hard surface.