excruciating but exquisite

chapter 9.

"papa almost tore my scholarship letter, he did that literally to his daughter!" she mumbled once they settled down on the couch after the while painting session.

"why?....i mean why would he do that? " he asked, curious enough to know the exact reason.

"don't know exactly! Maybe he is build like that only or may be he had this feeling about me that i would end up like my mother." she said, drawing circles on his bicep.

"or may be, he just wanted to control you, so that tum independent na ban jao and stop obeying him! " he muttered, in an attempt to make conclusion. He humself was in a state of rumination.

"you think so? " she asked, staring at him.

"umm....not making a statement out but just trying to get things in my perspective and by the way, what makes u turn down our plan in the midst of it and accompany him!... Whats.... whats .. his name..... Raj... Rajbeee... Or whatever! Any justification for that." he generalized sharply witha tint of causticity in his voice.

"he literally took my side, when my father was being absolutely relentless on me ,he convinced dad ke vo mujhe jane de!....main to sirf roye jari thi aur vo meri vulnerability and mere dad ki gusse and resentment ka advantage ache se lena janta hai. He knew that my dad has a blind faith on him. So vo apni caring and supportive image bnakar ,he always lionize him. And in return he asked me to accompany him for his business meeting as a would be trophy wife! Jo chup chap khadi rahe uskebarabar mein. Thats what he wanted for his wife and despite the fact that i had some totally different plan for the evening. Ofcourse with u only. But he ...he is a sadist to be honest. He loves taking control over me. Especially now, coz am thoda confront krne lgi hoon na use, i blantly show my disapproval over his deeds , usko lagta hai ye achanak se main kya self esteem and self respect ki batein krne lagi hoon. He got insecured about me being a girl who speaks for herself and her career. " she ranted, fingers playing with top two buttons of his shirt that she was wearing.

"to why don't you just run away from such toxic people in your life. I mean ur father is an affluent man and being his only child ,u must be privileged as well. So monetary issue to nahi hain tumhare pass. Im sure of that" he mumbled, pushing her hand away softly from the button replacing it with his own. To which she breath sharply. Her hands instinctually went to her hair, forking them with her fingers.

"run away! Huh!.... So that he gets yet another chance to put a stigma on me for being and doing exactly what my mother did. Yehi to chahte hain vo, maine aajtak kuch aisa kiya bhi nahi hai tab he keeping on ranting the same thing every then and now ke maa per gyi hai! u are just like ur mother ! Bhag jana tum bhi us aurat ki tarah mujhe chhodke! And bla blah.... And rahi baat me being his only child! So, thats true but not his heir, vo toh rajbeer hai. Thats why he wants me to marry him. My so called property will be his, and uske baad unko meri ganta koi nhi parwah hogi, he will be free from the burden of a daughter . Shadi ke bad unki beti uske pati ke sar ka bojh. " she choked a bit while narrating the things to him. But controlled and gulp that lump down before it reaches her sinuses and ultimately make her sob.

"but thats not right. Tum koi vintage movies ki heroine nahi ho, that u are force to tolerate all these obnoxious and mean things in ur life. Come on! Be a little courageous, just come out and speak up for ur right. You aren't a commodity to ur father. Sala aisa baap phli baar dekhrha hun! " he scoffed,

"thats why im planning to do things on my own. Graduation ke bad i applied for this course, basically masters in culinary arts and schlorship bhi mil gya ,baap ka paisa nahi uda rhi hoon! Still he had issues! Sometimes i wonder what is he upto? Sath jine nahi dena and dur jane nahi dena! " she spoke her mind

"may be he is insecure too....just like that Rajbeer. Ya fir .....May be... Im not making a statement. " he muttered, his hand constantly playing with the shirt button.