Texting Olivia Large ((On Pause))

14

I woke up this morning feeling bigger than usual.

It was one of those moments when you just wake up and realize everything that's wrong with you. You suddenly feel too fat or skinny. The ache on your face seems to have multiples. Those kinds of days.

Now as I stare at the mirror, in nothing but underwear, I feel the insecurities I tried to desperately shove down resurface to the point that it's drowning.

My belly feels more swollen than usual. It spills out of my underwear and hangs like a large balloon. My arms feel heavier and my thighs bulge out of the legs of my underwear lined with stretch marks from the very top.

Do I always look like this?

Disgust curls in my stomach, hot and humiliating. It burns in my belly and threatens to come out my mouth. I swallow hot bile.

My phone pings. I jump.

Hot stuff

H

ey beautiful(;

Beautiful...

Suddenly, I don't feel so drowned anymore.

He thinks I'm beautiful.

I try not to focus on my body, but my golden blonde hair, freckles, and baby blue eyes.

I feel the knot in my stomach undo itself.

Me

What's up?

After our talk, last night, a part of me feels a bit elevated, like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly, I'm less angry at Adam.

And I think I don't completely loath this Anonymous texter.

While waiting for 'Hot stuff' to reply. I throw on my clothes, grab my bag and head out.

"Liv!" Aiden squeals. He pulls on the worn straps of his bag. He jogs up to me. "I'm ready!"

I raise a brow. "You sure, kiddo? You want me to check?"

"No."

His reply is so sharp that I'm a bit taken back. He quickly composes himself.

"I mean, you don't have to check. I remembered everything today. I even made a list." He says, his voice is crooked but his chest swells with pride that calls to my own.

I ruffle his hair. "Aww. Look at you, being all organized."

He's beaming at this point. To delighted to swat my hand away.

I hold a hand out to him which he takes gladly.

~•~•~

When we get to the gate of the school, Aiden seems hesitant. His grip on my hand tightens.

"You okay, buddy?"

He nods.

A group of kids his age or a bit younger, skip into the playground, chattering about whatever kids their age find interesting these days. One of them take a single look at us and burst out laughing. She signals her friends who begin their own fit of giggles.

"What the-"

Aiden's fingers wiggle out of my own, his face turns a blazing red. Then he shuffles into the school.

Red hot anger flickers in my chest, along with irritation and a smidge of embarrassment.

Am I missing something?

I just stand there, mouth gaping like an idiot. Then I slowly start walking to my school, my mind still fixed on Aiden.

Why we're those kids laughing? I don't get the joke.

Ugh, kids are the worst.

Why did Aiden look so red?

Should I have done something?

Was it because I was holding his hand? Are we the joke?

Why didn't he-

I bump into someone.

"Hey! Watch it?"

"Oh, sorr-"

"This is an open space, are you so huge that you couldn't fit through without knocking me over? Hm, Large?"

Large...

Olivia Large.

The apology dies on my tongue. For the first time, I take a good look at the girl's face. Her familiar porcelain skin and blazing red hair.

Christine.

"Screw off, bitch." I say, shoving past her -on purpose this time. I don't have time for this. She's just looking for someone to mess with.

Just ignore her.

Small hands shove me from behind. I almost tumble over.

I turn abruptly to see Christine standing there. A smug grin stretching her lips.

I push her. With a bit more force this time. She stumbles.

A small crowd has already gathered. Curious eyes stare hungrily at the scene, whispers float throughout the hall.

Christine shoves me again, her pink acrylic nails digging into my skin.

A single pearl of crimson forms where her nail cut the deepest.

Anger blurs my vision to red. Then I take slow steps forward.

"Christine doesn't stand a chance!"

"Olivia is going to squash her."

"She should consider size before fighting. I wouldn't dare pick a fight against someone like her."

"It's the audacity."

"How much damage do you think Olivia will do until a teacher shows up."

"Olivia, stop."

A hand grabs onto my shoulder. Just by the angle, I can tell this person is shorter than me.

"You know you're stronger than her." Joey reasons. "You'll get in more trouble. You could get expelled."

That stops me.

I exhale. My anger isn't completely quenched but it fades a bit.

The look in Christine's eyes are challenging, but slivers of fear dance in them. She wants me to get in trouble but doesn't have the heart to take the blow.

Everyone is staring at her, but she meets the gaze that seems to pierce the deepest.

Adam.

I can't find anything in his eyes. He doesn't move forward to meet me and he doesn't leave. When we were younger, we could tell what we were feeling through eye contact. More than anything, I want him to understand what I'm saying.

Please, don't think less of me for this.

He lifts his brows slowly. His response is clear. Why would I, Livster?

"Come on, let's go," Joey says, dragging me away. I don't bother to protest.

I tear my gaze from Adam and head to the next class.

~•~•£
I know it's a short chapter but the next one I going to be longer. I promise!

Hughes

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