The Wailing Woman

30. Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

"If you do this, all your effort will go to waste." The man who hid behind his desk warned.

This shouldn't be taking so long. I should've left an hour ago but instead, I've been stuck with my advisor who is trying to convince me to stay in school. Although I barely met him today, he was being too persistent for my liking. It almost made me feel like I was back in the hospital talking to a doctor and the sudden reflex to lie and smile settled in my muscles but my bones felt strained.

I couldn't do it.

My mouth stayed still, the corners flat and lips shut. I was more irritated. Every time he talked, he sounded like a mosquito buzzing in my ear and all I wanted to do was swat him. It should be noted my advisor has a mug full of pens on his desk, I would also like to stick one of those pens into his hand.

Violent thoughts were as frequent as the need for breathing. My gaze lowered to the name engraved plate, Jonathan Roberts. I tried to rationalize Mr. Roberts' behavior, he was doing his job, and being worried about his student's future was normal. It still felt strange.

Regardless of Mr. Roberts' persistence, I made my decision with three reasons in mind. One, I'm failing all my classes as I repeatedly brought to Mr. Roberts' attention. Two, I'm being hunted. Three, my father is paying for my tuition.

The last two were what made my decision. See, after Grimm told me about my father's quiet meddling in my life I needed to know if it was true or not. He was right, which I hated. The money I deposited for this semester has been returned to my account in small amounts and normally I wouldn't have been bothered by it but since I know it's my father's doing I have to do something.

My father knows I exist, he knows about me. Why is hiding from me? I need to know—I need to perform this pathetic act to lure my father out from wherever he is hiding from. I can't tell if my intentions are hopeful or desperate.

"Yes," I repeat my response monotonously as I have for the past hour. "I understand. I would still like to drop out of school."

He asks, hopeful. "Okay, will you be returning for the spring semester?"

I don't even know if I'm going to live past the spring semester, I wanted to shout at him. I flexed my hand admiring my nails, the black stood out against the opaque pale blue tights I wore. Focusing on other things was how I stopped panicking and looking at pretty things helps.

"No, I won't be returning," I answered, not looking up.

Mr. Roberts inhaled sharply. "Miss De Luna, this university was made aware of your difficulties, and we...." I tuned out the rest of his speech.

Refugio knew this would happen one day. She knew the consequences of my actions would someday hurt me. I remember her begging and pleading for me to lie but I couldn't live with myself any longer. No estas loca, no eres como estas personas she said that as the doctors were preparing to evaluate me. But I didn't listen to her and isolated myself.  (You're not crazy, you're not like these people.)

Kindness was never in my nature. But I know what I must do now. I have a plan well, it's not necessarily a fully thought-out plan, but I know what I want to do.

Edgar, the now-dead warlock said there was a rumor whispering among the witches and warlocks in this country about Nicolas De Luna's child being alive and I've no doubts someone will want to know if this rumor could be true. If one of them was able to find out where I live then it won't be difficult for them to find out where I go to school. I would rather not die in front of so many people.

Also, later tonight I'm finally going to bind my apartment and begin my first witchcraft lesson with Dilara. She is bringing all her magic books and grimoire. I'm hoping she could also help me find a spell or point me in the direction of bringing Grimm's wings back. But I have to explain to Dilara first who Grimm is. I hope she can give me a solution because I need to get Grimm out of my life as soon as possible.

I can't stand the flutterings, the looks, and the touching. It feels like a leech gnawing on my skin and although it bites painlessly each time, it drains me. He drains me. I'm counting on dumb luck but I hope by the time Grimm comes back I'll have a way to give him back what he once lost. I won't sleep until I've found a way. He'll have his wings and leave.

My chest pokes disturbingly like a thorn at the idea of permanently saying goodbye to Grimm. I shouldn't feel this way. Among the many things Grimm was, he held the title of The Capturer of Souls. He is an immortal captor and he will never allow himself to be captured. I can only hold him for—for—

"Miss De Luna?" I lifted my gaze and met my advisor's worried one.

I dully said, "Yes, I understand. I still want you to process my withdrawal from the university as quickly as you can." I got up from the chair and at this angle, I could spot a few beads of sweat pooling around Mr. Roberts' forehead.

He looks flustered as his hand jitters as he shuffles the paper set on his desk. I managed to catch my father's name on a small piece of paper with an unknown number written underneath his name. I bite the inside of my cheek.

Mr. Roberts forces a smile out. "Okay, great. Then, I wish you all the best of luck." He waits for me to return his smile but I simply walk out the door.

I want to be a good person like Refugio believed I was, but good people are always doing things they don't want to do and my memories and actions are proving that I'm not as good a person as I thought I was. As I walk down the narrow hallway and pass the offices, I cross my arms and squeeze myself. I need to keep trying to stay alive, somehow.

I looked over my shoulder and saw through the slim office window of Mr. Roberts holding the phone against his ear and running his hand through his hair with the other. His mouth opened and closed as if he was having a hard time talking. His brows knitted together. I stayed still watching him until he felt my gaze. His eyes widened as if he had been caught.

Then, I smile.

I turn back and walk away as I press the back of my hand on my lips. He called him. He called him.

Nos vemos pronto, Papá. (See you soon, Father.)