The Wailing Woman

39. The Skeletons in My Closet Pt. 1

TW: Child death, bullying, harassment. 

It was an unfortunate accident. They were playing a game of kickball outside the orphanage like they always did, but one of the children kicked the ball too far away, and it rolled onto the open street. None of them wanted to stop playing. They were children, and children don't know how to stop having fun. Paisley, being the oldest there (and the bravest) decided she would be the one to get the ball. No cars were passing, it was quiet and empty. She walked onto the street and retrieved the ball, she waved the ball in the air.

The children cheer from the sidewalk. But the more Paisley stood on the open road she had begun to seal her fate. It all happened so fast. There were no cars until the next minute there was one.

Paisley Rivers was only nine years old when she died.

She said she saw her funeral and saw her friends cry, she cried with them too. 

"One time we had a dog. We would all take care of the dog but one day he got sick. Sick, sick. We had to send him away, and we all knew he wasn't going to come back. Miss Abbott told us we'll see him one day, but not in the way we expected to see him. She said it's okay to cry, it's just your body's way of showing how much you love them." She then says, hopeful. "My friends, they must have loved me a lot. I didn't get to have parents but I still got a family in the end."

I'm in awe by Paisley. I would think getting your life taken away at such a young age would leave her angry or sad. She had every right to feel that way but she was very accepting of her current state.

"Do you want me to tell your friends they'll see you one day?" I ask.

I imagine her shaking her head as she said, "No, don't tell them. I think I understand what Miss Abbott meant. It's like a game of hide and seeks, isn't it? They'll find me when the time is right." I can hear her smiling, "I love surprises, I can't wait for the day they see me again. But I'll wait."

She should've lived a full life. She should've been able to explore this world for a much longer time. She should've been loved for much longer. The knot forms around my throat, and I swallow it. Times like these are when I hate the world and its unfairness.

Paisley tugs my hand, "Earlier, I heard him call you The Crier. Do you cry a lot?" It's an easy and obvious answer, but I couldn't admit it. Lloras mucho y nadie merece tus lagrimas, Refugio's soothing voice whispers into the curve of my ear. (You cry a lot and no one deserves your tears.)

"If you cry a lot then that must mean you have a lot of love in your heart."

*****

The carousel spun like a fairytale. Horses, elephants, rabbits, dolphins, and giraffes were dressed in royal armor. The children grasped their animals as if they were knights, and they shone brightly, as the golden lights crowned them as the victors. An upbeat melody played in the background, but it was mostly covered by cheerful laughter. This is what Paisley wants, a day of fun and celebration.

At first, Dilara felt uneasy about Paisley. She was extremely cautious about her surroundings, looking out for Paisley although she could not see her. Dilara found the whole situation peculiar. She explained it was natural for witches to communicate with their ancestors, but to communicate with all of the dead was unheard of. She also wondered why I could only hear them. 

We didn't dwell too much on the answer because like so many things in my life they'll remain unanswered unless my father decides to show up and talk.

But for now, Dilara and I sat together inside a grayish swan exchanging sweets while Paisley pretended to be a knight, riding all the animals. I could hear her footsteps clanging on the metal platform. She runs as if she was in a field of wildflowers. "I'm on the hippo!" She shouts and then not a moment later she giggles, "Now, I'm on the zebra!" She goes on like that for the rest of the ride.