The Wailing Woman

64. White Tulips Again

The possessed girl was left alone in the fourth room downstairs with nothing but her dreams. I doubt they would be kind to her. Grimm and Hans left quickly without saying goodbye as the dead hurried them to take them home. 

But before Mrs. Daisy Croft left with them, she slipped beside me. "When my daughter wakes up, please don't let her go home alone. She always hated that house ever since her father left and now that I'm gone, I'm afraid she'll lose herself in there." I imagine her head tilting like a rained flower, droplets overflowing. "I don't know if you're truly my daughter's friend but I've heard what they call you, Crier of Souls. I'll trust your heart." She brushes past me like a falling petal and all I'm left with is a cold breeze.

Dilara and I walk together and as we are about to go upstairs I see the rabbit patiently waiting for us on the top of the stairs. He starts thumping his back foot almost as if he were disappointed at our arrival or the state we were in. Dilara and I ascend in pure silence to our rooms.

Before she went into her room, she said. "I'm going to write my parents a letter, and send it to them tomorrow." I nod. She turns to open her door but she looks back at me. "We're not killers." I blink until I realize she is waiting for me to say something—to assure her. But I've always been one.

Still, I tell her, "No, we're not."

Dilara nods and shuts the door. I don't know if she believed me or not.

The rabbit insistently hops behind me with loud unnecessary stomps. Once I get into my room, the rabbit slips in. He continues to pester me with his nose twitching as he sniffs blood off my dress. I unclip the necklaces and take off the earrings thrown on top of my drawer. The rabbit keeps following me around as I'm about to go inside the bathroom, I turn around halting the rabbit's hopping.

"Ya te escuche. Se que hora es y que huelo a mierda. Pero por favor—" My throat burns as I keep trying to swallow the knot down. It builds more. "Todo me duele y no puedo hacer nada más que sentir." (Everything hurts me and I can't do anything but feel.)

The rabbit only looks like a rabbit now, and doesn't understand anything. I walk into the shower and don't bother to take off my dress. I sit there with the water drenching every inch of my body but it does nothing to get rid of the smell of blood and smoke. I place a hand over my mouth, muffling all the noise. The rabbit lays on the mat and tries stretching his ears tall enough to hear it all.

But the water gets colder and my eyes warmer.

*****

After an hour or two in the shower, I somehow got rid of every stain on my skin. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, I flinched. Dressed in a long ivory nightgown made every cut and bruise visible. Mixes of green, purple, yellow, and pinkish flesh were everywhere. Even my veins were transparent, my eyelids looked so blue. At the very least I knew which ones I needed to heal first.

I take out some of my father's books and a pouch carrying salves and vials of colorful liquids. Some of them have an insect or part of an animal floating inside. I lay them all out on the wooden table centered in my room. Although there was a perfectly good bed, I sat down on the floor. I've rarely used the bed for its purpose and the dark circles under my eyes were proof. 

It seems that Dilara had left a porcelain cup of chamomile tea for me. With its steam curling its scent all over the room like it had been freshly made. But I knew better. Her teas and coffees were enchanted to always be warm, never have they gone cold.

I grabbed a pillow cushion and placed it behind my back. The rabbit hops by the fireplace and curls into a ball, his eyes closing. I start flipping through my father's books for remedies, and I find so many. My fingers carefully trace all the words of different spells. A rush of power spreads all over my body as if it knows I'm going to perform magic. As I keep indulging in my father's books and his work, my mind wants to absorb more of this knowledge. I want to know everything.