I've Loved These Days: A Billy Joel Fanfic

Chapter 19 - All About Soul

••••
She turns to me sometimes
And she asks me what I'm dreaming
And I realize I must have gone
A million miles away
And I ask her how she knew
To reach out for me at that moment
And she smiles because it's understood
There are no words to say
••••

Friday, September 10, 1976
Dear Diary,

Sandy and I ended up staying with the guys for 10 days before heading back to New York. Thankfully her morning sickness was less severe for the trip home. I think Sandy had a bit of a shock in terms of what touring was really like. Her expectations included a lot more glamour and a lot less boredom. Everyone's near-constant drinking was also something she complained about, but I can't really blame her because if I was pregnant and had to always be sober in that group, I'd probably lose my mind too.

I'd be lying if I said I've been able to push aside the unexpected meeting with Elizabeth. Part of me feels silly for holding on to my fears about her, but the other part of me isn't willing to let go of them. What happened was so long ago, and her apology did seem sincere, but I just can't seem to forgive and forget.

Bill's been back home for a couple of weeks, but I feel like I haven't really seen him. It's not that he hasn't been around, but he's been writing pretty heavily. He has a tendency to go deep inside his own head when he's in that mode. Usually I'm able to keep myself occupied when he gets like that, but with this new lifestyle we've been handed, I'm beginning to feel redundant. Having maids and assistants is not something I'm used to. Rubbing elbows with big names and big money blows my mind. I could never compete with any of that.

xoxo,
Kat

****

A melody from upstairs filtered down to the kitchen just as it had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. I was standing at the sink rinsing off my lunch plate when I heard the front door open and then close. A moment later Carol entered the kitchen with her arms full of grocery bags.

"Oh, jeez, let me help you!" I quickly moved towards her and grabbed two of the bags. "You should have come to get me instead of trying to carry all this in at once!"

Carol smiled and placed the bags on the kitchen table. Vince had hired her as our personal assistant when we first moved into this apartment, and as nice as she was, I simply couldn't get used to having her around. She did our shopping, took care of our errands, and kept track of our meetings and appointments. Between her and our housekeeper, Rosa, I was spending most of my days feeling guilty as I watched them perform tasks that I used to do.

"I couldn't remember if it was chicken or pork that you were out of, so I got both," Carol said as she began emptying the bags. "I hope you don't mind."

"Oh, of course I don't mind!" I set the two bags I was holding onto the counter and rifled through the contents. "I can put all this away, you don't need to."

"It's no problem, Mrs. Joel." Carol continued unbagging the groceries.

"Kathleen," I corrected, for what felt like the millionth time.

"Yes, ma'am. Kathleen."

I let out a small sigh and gave Carol a halfhearted smile. I knew she was only doing her job. I made my way out of the kitchen and up the stairs, following the now-familiar melody. Our apartment had three bedrooms, and we had turned one of them into a music room for Billy. The door was cracked open enough for me to peer in, and I stood there watching as Billy played the same series of chords and harmonies over and over again.