Red vs blue and purple

SPF 0

Church, Caboose and Tucker are standing over Church's body. Church glares at both of them.

Church: I am not happy about this.

Caboose raises his hand a little.

Caboose: I have an idea. ...I HAVE AN IDEA!

Tucker looks at him annoyed.

Tucker: Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose, we were just ignoring you.

Caboose looks at Church.

Caboose: Since you possessed that Red guy, and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body?

Church: Oh I see, so that way I would be living inside of my own dead body.

Caboose: Yes.

Church: Unable to move, just, laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity.

Caboose: Yes.

Church: Okay, Caboose, I'll be sure to get right on that.

Caboose stares at him for awhile.

Caboose: I think you are a mean ghost.

Tuckers nose wrinkles in disgust.

Tucker: Dude, you really stink.

Church looks at him with an eyebrow raised.

Church: What?

Tucker: Your body, it stinks.

Church: Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body.

Tucker: Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it.

Church: It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest.

Tucker: Get over it, you're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now?

Caboose looks up seeing some birds.

Caboose: Hey, Church, look, birds! Why are they flying around in circles?

Church: (as a sigh) Nuh, God.

Cut to Grif, Sabine and Simmons on the Red Base.

Grif: Okay, I'll go again. I spy something.. that begins with...

Simmons: Dirt.

Grif: Damn! How did you-

Simmons: Well, because you did rock last time. That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt.

Grif: Yeah, this canyon sucks.

Sabine: I'll go. I spy with my little eye, something green.

Simmons: Grass.

Sabine:............ This canyon sucks.

Cut to Tucker and Church watching Tex fix the tank from the cliff's edge. Caboose is behind Tucker looking through the sniper rifle. Church looks at Tucker.

Church: How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?

Tucker looks at him.

Tucker: Not much longer. She said it's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, and then she'll get it moving again.

Church throws his arms up in anger.

Church: (sarcastic) Oh, that's just fantastic.

Tucker: Why would that upset you?

Church: Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die.

Tucker: The Reds dying is a good thing.

Church: No, Tucker, it's not a good thing. As soon as we beat the Reds, Tex is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head.

Caboose looks at him.

Caboose: A.I. ...

Church: Shut up, Caboose. And if I don't get it out before she leaves...

Tucker: If she leaves you won't ever find her again.

Church: Right.

Tucker: So what're you gonna do?

Church: I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank.

Tucker: You're switching sides?

Church: Sorry, guys. I don't have much choice.

Caboose: Church, uh, wha-what happens when the Reds out here.. to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us..?

Church: I'll try to help you as best I can. Good luck, guys.

Church fades away. Caboose looks at Tucker.

Caboose: Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?

Tucker turns to Caboose.

Tucker: I tell you what: kill me. I promise not to come back.

Caboose looks back through the sniper and sees donut, thinking he's a girl.

Caboose: Hey! LOOK AT THIS. (focusing on Donut)

Tucker looks away from him.

Tucker: No.

Caboose: They have A GIRL. They have a girl!

Tucker: Yeah we know she's super hot.

Caboose: Another girl! They have another girl!

Tucker looks at him confused.

Tucker: A what?

Caboose: A girl, a girl! Look! Pink armor!

Tucker: Oh man, how come they get another girl?

Tex looks at them annoyed.

Tex: (from below them) Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right? And that I'm standin' right here?

Tucker and Caboose look at her.

Tucker: Yeah, Tex, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl-girl.

Tex puts a hand on her hip.

Tex: And what the hell does that mean?

There was pause with the two boys realizing that she'd kill them.

Caboose and Tucker: (backing up from the edge of cliff, out of Tex's sight) Nothing!

Tex: Oh and if you get anywhere near the multicolor girl or touch her, I'm gonna beat the crap outta you.

Tucker: Yes ma'am!

Tucker then realized something. He looks at Caboose.

Tucker: Wait a second. If Tex heard that, do you think she heard Church's secret plan to warn the Reds about her?

Caboose: I don't know... but I think I know how to find out.

Caboose steps back up to the edge, looking down at Tex as she looks at him.

Caboose: Hey...! Tex! Uh... Did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Reds that you were fixing the tank?

Tex turns back to the tank then Caboose backs up to join Tucker.

Caboose: I don't think she knows. (fade to black) ...Unless she can read minds... She can't read minds, can she? ...Can you hear what I'm thinking?