Church, Tucker, and Caboose are standing on top of Blue Base.
Church: Let me get this straight.. You gave this guy our flag?
Caboose: Is that bad?
Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?
Tucker: There, there he is.
Tucker points to Donut as the others follow his gaze.
Church: (looking through the sniper rifle) Where? Oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.
Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.
Cut to Donut looking around the canyon very confused.
Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?
Cut to Church, Tucker, and Caboose.
Church: Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's red.
Tucker: Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.
Church: Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defenses.
Caboose: Uh, you know.. he came in the back door where you guys were standing.
Tucker waves him off not caring.
Tucker: Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.
Church: Roger that. Okay, say goodnight, Sarge.
Cut to Donut as Church shoots four times but misses.
Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!
Cut to Church and Tucker.
Church: Aw crap.
Church feels Tucker starring at him.
Tucker: ...
Church: (turns to Tucker) ...What?
Tucker: You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?
Cut to Donut.
Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?
Cut to Tucker doing a facepalm.
Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.
Church: Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass.
Caboose gives a thumbs up.
Caboose: Right!
Church looks at Tucker and gestures to the teleporter.
Church: Tucker, you ready? Let's go.
Tucker shakes his head.
Tucker: There is no way I'm going through that thing.
Church: Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
Tucker: I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?
Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?
Tucker: We threw rocks through it!
Church: Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?
Tucker: Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.
Church: Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of a little black stuff.
Tucker: Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff.
Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you. (raising his gun at Tucker)
Tucker: You wouldn't...
Church: You know, I look at it this way: Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.
Tucker: For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people.
Church: Duly noted. Now get in there.
Tucker turns towards the teleporter.
Tucker: Crap... Alright. One, two...
Tucker runs through and doesn't appear on the other side.
Caboose: ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side...
Church: Yeeaahhh, I've uh- I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
Church runs off the base to chase Donut.
Church: Okay, rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!
Cut to Simmons and Grif.
Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
Grif: (sighs) I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.
Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.
Grif: Bam. (sees Church through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got a Blue guy on the move out there.
Simmons: Where's he headed?
Sabine comes up from behind them.
Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)...Simmons, get the Warthog and Sabine.
Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?
Sabine: And I'm already here when I heard the bam.
(Grif says this in the Earlier Version)
Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.
Sabine: It's too weird.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue and purple
FanfictionA escape pod has crashed landed on blood gulch with a mysterious person in black armor with no memory of who they are only their name. They join the reds in their fight with the blues. Who is this mysterious person? Why can't they remember who they...
