returned - a.i (discontinued)

3

I ran out of my room and went up to Calum's, knocking loudly. A few seconds later a groggy Calum answered the door, his hands rubbing his eyes. "Calum, I'm going crazy." I said.

He looked at me confused. His eyes squinting at the light in the hallway. "What?"

"I'm going crazy." I whispered. My fingers tugged at the roots of hair and I was breathing heavily. I was sweating so much it stained my shirt and I was shaking until I couldn't stand anymore. Calum moved aside and I quickly ran in. I sat on his bed as he walked in to sit next to me. My foot tapped repeatedly on the floor. "Ash." I looked up at Calum.

I noticed Luke fast asleep in the bed across from us, he was snoring lightly.

Calum put a hand on my shoulder as I sighed. I looked him in the eye and he nodded, as if he understood what I was thinking. "I-" I started. I huffed and ran my hand over my face. "I saw Marley." I finished.

Calum shook his head. "How? We established this, no one can find her."

"No, she wasn't real." I whispered. Calum then looked more confused than ever. He shook his head and furrowed his brows. "Ashton, what the hell are you on?" I huffed and stood up, pacing in his room. "I'm-I'm not on a-anything." I stuttered. "I honestly saw Marley. I-I kissed her and it felt real but she told me that I was all in her head, and when I told her 'I love you' she vanished!" my voice raised. Luke moved around in the bed but didn't wake-up.

"Ash, first of all, you need to lower your voice, Luke is sleeping." Calum started. "Second, I'm not saying you're crazy, I just think you're delusional." he finished. I stared at him, nodding my head. I understood, maybe I was delusional. "Like, you're imagining she's there, right?" he asked. I nodded and he kept going.

"You're also saying you can feel her, you said you kissed her and felt it. And once you said 'I love you' she left?" I nodded again. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know Ashton, I-I've never heard of this before. Maybe we can look into it in the morning."

I looked over at the clock that read 2:45am. I shook my head at Calum. "I can't be left alone. It scares me, Calum." I said. Calum sighed again. "Ashton, c'mon. You're a big boy. I promise you it'll be morning soon, if you shut your eyes and take a deep breath you'll be fine and you can sleep." he patted my back and opened the door for me. I looked at him with pleading eyes. I didn't want to go back into my room and be alone for 8 moe hours.

"Ashton c'mon, I'm tired man." Calum groaned. I walked out, not wanting to bother Calum anymore. He shut the door behind me and I walked back to my room. I unlocked my door, went in, shut the door, and sat on the ground. Tears sprung to my eyes and spilled over, creating streams down my face.

I was actually quite happy that Calum sent me in here alone, I would never want them to see me cry like this. Of course, I've cried in front of them before but not like this. I was so vulerable, I was in need of Marley. I didn't want some imagination of her to be here, I wanted the real thing. Why am I so f.ucking wimpy towards her. I hate it, I hate her for making me feel this way. Why did I f.ucking go up to her in that airport? Why didn't I just leave her be and let her fend for herself? She deserves it after what she did to me. Leaving me f.ucking broken hearted.

The tears endlessly spilled out of my eyes and small whimpers came from my mouth. I just needed a person.

-

It was 10:27am, my eyes were dry from crying and my throat hurt like hell from the constant screams and whimpers that came from my mouth over the course of 8 hours. I pulled at my hair too much my head ached.

My room was a mess, I threw plenty of pillows and sheets to the floor. I threw the couch over and I knocked over only one ceremamic thing in the hotel room, and that was a small lamp. I was surprised none of the boys or hotel staff came in to tell me to shut-up or calm me down.

A knock at the door brought me out of my daze. I got up from my spot on the couch, that I picked up earlier, and answered the door. Standing at the door was Calum, he had his closed laptop in his hand. The small smile he had when I answered the door was now gone. He looked at my face, then passed my body and into the room. I sniffled and wiped my nose on my sleeve. "Hey." I said.

"What did you do?" Calum stepped inside and gaped at the mess. "I went crazy." I said quitely. Calum sighed and sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to him. I sat down as he opened his laptop. He opened Google Chrome and typed in "mental disorders imagination".

"I'm determined to figure out what is making you delusional." he said, hitting enter and clicking the first link to come up. It was an article on a child who had an imaginary friend and his parents were worried. I thought that was normal, almost every child has an imaginery friend.

We searched the internet for anything about what I could have, if I was even sick. I was just delusional and depressed. Calum didn't think so though. He thought he knew what was wrong with me and I didn't try to stop him. I was just as curious as him.

"Nothing, nothing on here has anything about what you're seeing and feeling." Calum huffed.

I shrugged. "Calum, I just think I'm depressed and delusional. I'm seeing things because she left me. Before then I didn't see anything. I was perfectly fine. When Marley left is when I got f.ucked up. My brain is just," I took a deep breathe. "crazy I guess." I explained. Calum nodded as if he understood. "I just want her back, Calum. I want this all to be over. I want the fans to know I'm okay." I said.

"Do you ever wonder if she feels the same way? Like she's going crazy and imagining you with her?" Calum asked. I furrowed my brows at him. "She left me for whatever reason and I'm pretty sure it was because she didn't want to be with me anymore." Calum smacked me on the leg.

"Don't f.ucking say that Ashton! She loved you so much you have no idea. It killed her to leave you, she was crying on my shoulder telling me how stupid it was of her to just leave home. You have to trust me on this, she never wanted to leave you. She had no choice but to go back home because of her f.ucking mum coming to take her back home!" Calum screamed. He took in heavy breaths as he finished. I looked at him confused. "What?"

Calum realised what he had said and his eyes widened. "I thought her mum let her live with her realtives in London?"

"She doesn't have relatives in London, Ash." Calum sighed for the millionth time. "She-She ran away from home 4 months ago."

And that's when I knew I couldn't trust anyone, not even the person I loved.

-

HELLO ANOTHER UPDATE!

im in school and in spanish so i updated for you all bc i luv u 2 da max

anyways this sux ass and hopefully the next chapter will be better:-)

luv u

-marinara sauce