returned - a.i (discontinued)

4

I felt as if I was going to fall over from the amount of sleep I hadn't gotten in the past few days. I was writing a letter to Marley. I was mad, furious even. That was such a big thing to lie to me about, and it hurt that she kept it from me and not Calum. We were closer and she lied to me. How was I so stupid to see that! It was such an easy lie.

My hand was frozen above the piece of paper on the desk. I was unable to write, I was speechless in my head. My thoughts weren't in my head, and I couldn't express any emotion.

Dear Marley,

Was all I had written down. I erased it, feeling it was too clingy. I started over.

Marley,

First of all, I miss you like crazy. It's been a month since I had last seen you and it's been too long. I never got the chance to tell you when you were here but, I love you. I'm in love with you and no one else cold take your spot in my heart.

I bit on the end of my pencil, thinking. I reread it over and over again, and the more I read it the more I hated it. I couldn't erase it though, because even if I erased it and tried again, it would be the same. I continued.

I wish I knew the real reason why you left. Calum told me you had to leave, that your mom came and took you home by force. And that you ran away from home. Marley, if you would have just told me in the beginning that you ran away I wouldn't be as mad as I am now. I'm mad because you lied to my face for months, and I thought you trusted me.

I sighed, setting the pencil down and running my hand through my hair. Writing this was hard, I didn't think it would be but it is.

I don't know if you left because you didn't feel the same way as I did and thought we were taking it to far? Or what Calum said was true and your mom came and took you home. To be honest, I don't think I can believe anything anyone tells me anymore. I feel like they would be lying to me like you did.

I took a deep breathe and re-situated the pencil in my hand.

It's been ridiculously hard for me since you left. As mad as I am at you, I could never stop loving you. It may take time for me to forgive you but I would never stop loving you.

I have no idea if you have these too but I see you. It only happens when I'm alone but if I focus hard enough you appear in front of me. And it feels real, Marley. Like, sometimes I kiss you because I miss you so much and it feels like you're kissing me back. I can feel your lips against mine and I can feel your touch. I can feel you. It's absolutely insane and trust me, I'm afraid of myself, but it's the only way I can get a piece of you.

And now I'll end this letter with an 'I love you' and a 'Goodbye'.

I love you and Goodbye.

-Ashton Irwin.

I signed the letter, folding it, and sealing it in it's envelope. I gave it one last look over before finding the band manager and giving it to him to mail away to the love of my life.

-

HELLO

haven't updated in a while and now that it's summer for me, more updates!!

luv u all

marina-ra sauce:-)))))))))))))