Riley Carter's always been a studious person, studying at one of the best universities in the area with great friends to match. She's popular and gets some of the highest grades in her exams, but when her bad-boy boyfriend cheats on her, she finds h...
It's been a week. A whole week since James left and yet, I haven't seemed to have got any better. I can't keep my eyes off Madelyn's Instagram and it seems I'm only worrying myself even more but I can't stop. I know it's not healthy. I know I need to stop panicking and overthinking things. I know I shouldn't be trying to distract myself by overworking my mind, studying something I hardly even care about, but at the same time, I don't know what else I can do.
It wasn't like this before Aiden. Before, I was a top student with a healthy mind, healthy body, healthy thoughts. I messaged my family everyday and stayed in contact with my sister. I steered myself away from boys and had night outs with the girls at least every other week. But now it's like my life is crumbling out of control. Maybe Giselle was right about what she said seven days ago. Maybe I do need a break from guys. I knew I wasn't healthy to be a good girlfriend right now. I shouldn't even be dating James but I am.
"Earth to my best friend," Michelle says, sliding into the seat beside mine in the library. She wraps one of her arms arounds my shoulders and pulls me into her as she shuffles closer. I sigh and close my eyes, moving closer to her myself to wrap my arms around her equally as much. "Talk to Mama, Riley," she says in a baby-like voice, pouting. I reopen my eyes as I breathe out, my head resting by her shoulder.
"I really want to talk. But I just don't know what I want to say."
"Well tell me what's going through your head then. If it's Aiden, I swear to God I'll kick his ass until it fucking bleeds," she says making me chuckle as I shake my head. Raising my head, I look up at her and pull out of her arms.
"I love you, you know that?" I laugh. "Even if you can be an insane blonde . . . hair-whipping obsessed, boy-band crazy maniac sometimes." She rolls her eyes at me and then pulls me into another hug.
"You know me, Ri," she laughs along with me. "Always caring about my girls. I love you too. You and your crazy love-life is what keeps me going," she mumbles as her chin rested on top of my shoulder. "How about we go out for a party tonight? You, me, Devon, Thalia, Oliver, Jess?" she asks.
"What about Giselle?" I whisper tiredly.
"She's got a date with West," she chuckles, making me smile to myself. Michelle smiles down at me and then nudges my arm a little, peering over to view what I was looking at on my phone. When she sees another photo of Madelyn, she shakes her head at me and exhales. "You know what I think, Riley?" she asks, making me look down and bite my lip, already having an idea about what she was going to say. "I think you put yourself down for no good. You make yourself feel insecure by overthinking things, babes, and when you do that, people can tell. And when people can tell, they start to ignore you, avoid you, treat you like you're a piece of shit but you're not. If a person sees you as insecure, they then think of you as weak and so they begin to play with your mind and your hormones. I don't want that to happen to you," she says.
"Michelle," I begin to say but she shakes her head. Grabbing my phone off the table, she taps onto a few things before eventually showing me a picture from almost a year ago. It was taken in the first few weeks of Uni when she and I had just met and she'd convinced me to put myself out there in order to get a guy.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Tell me what you see here, Riley," she says, looking at me with both her eyebrows raised. "Tell me how you view that version of yourself."
"I dunno," I shrug, making her stretch her neck further as her face contorts with annoyance. "It's just us, Michelle."
"Yes, it's us. But I'm talking about you. What qualities do you see in yourself by looking at that photo? If I was to put this onto Tinder or something, how do you think guys would view you?"
"I dunno," I mumble again. "Pretty?"
"Yes," she says, placing the phone down on the table. Taking a hold of my hands, she squeezes them and looks at me with a smile on her face. "Pretty. Hot. Confident. Smart. Intelligent. A queen. Not someone to mess with. But if you were to take a look at yourself now, what do you think you come across as?"
"A burden to everyone," I whisper. She looks at me sympathetically but since she doesn't say anything, I continue. "A completely ugly person. Someone with scars and bruises. A piece of used tissue. A sad, pathetic lowlife."
"But you're not any of those things," she tells me, her voice hard, strong and passionate. "You're Riley. You're beautiful, humorous, kind, friendly. You're the older sister I never had and it pains me to see you in this state," she says. "I know you miss James. Have you called him at all lately?"
"The last time we spoke was about three days ago. But he's really busy with the convention so-"
"Has he told you that or is it you assuming things?" she cuts me off, making me look down. She takes the silence for an answer and then shakes her head. "If you don't call him by tonight then I'll do it for you. I can't watch you beat yourself up over a guy again," she says. She squeezes my hands one more time before standing up and gathering my things. I watch her confusedly as she slots them inside my bag and I frown.
"Michelle-" I begin to talk once again but like usual, she shushes me.
"Nope. We need to get ready for the party. Do you know how sad you look being sat in the library by yourself at five in the afternoon on a Saturday? Come on, Ri. Where's the old, party-loving girl I used to know?" she says, making me laugh as she grabs a hold of my hand and I grab my phone before she drags me out of there and up to the dorms.
