~between shelves~ daichixreader

~9~

the ride home was a quiet one. the silence was deafening, with only the sound of the engine keeping me sane. the second our feet touched the ground at shiratorizawa, coach washijo ripped us apart. i just stare at my feet, tuning his screams out. i mean, i technically didnt do anything wrong. hell, i didnt even play! but i still feel as crushed as everyone else who did.

because im just the manager, sometimes i feel like im not justified to consider myself a part of the team. i know nobody thinks that, but it can be hard not to feel a little left out sometimes. even so, im glad my friends prove to me again and again that im not an outcast.

tendou pulls us all into a group hug. "I LOVE YOU GUYS! i know i dont say it ever because thats corny as hell but i wouldnt want to be along side anyone else! i consider each and every one of you FAMILY." tears started rolling down my cheeks again, partly because i feel so included and so crushed by our loss, but mostly because i know tendou is gonna hate me forever when he finds out ive been lying to him for weeks.

i finally get home, seeing the sun slowly sink below the horizon. thank god for the end of the longest day EVER. i get out of my car and unlock my front door. phone in hand, i text kasumi to come over. i cant WAIT to talk to her about everything thats happened. someone who is outside of it all. thank god for her.

after around 30 minutes or so of killing time in my room, my door bursts open and i fall off of my bed in shock. "IM HEREEEE! and i brought cookies!" i stare at her for a second before i let out a joyful laugh, letting my heart rate climb down. "thanks sumi!" i say cheerfully as i plop back onto my bed with her, grabbing a sugar cookie with strawberry icing.

"okay, now that im here, tell me EVERYTHING!!"

i take a deep breath, then proceed to bombard her with every emotion in the book. i tell her about my evolving crush on daichi, meeting his friends, and our frequent texts and nightly calls. i tell her about how crushed i felt when we lost today, how volleyball will cease to be in my life after this year. i tell her about the anxiety i have surrounding the situation with tendou, that i dont want to lose him as a friend but that i cant bear to hurt him like that. and she listens to every single word i say with the same attentiveness.

after i finish my word marathon, i sit there and look at her, completely out of breath from rambling. we sat in silence for a minute, her mind busy as she thought of something to say to me. i honestly dont know what i would say to all of that either.

kasumi finally snaps out of her trance. "im so sorry about your loss today. i know nothing i could say will help the hurt, but i just want you to know im here for you. i cant imagine how it feels to fight so hard and still to lose something you love. speaking of that, im gonna need to have a serious conversation with you about tendou."

i let out a sigh and avert my gaze. "dont you sigh at me y/n! this isnt a joke." i pick my eyes up from my sheets, trying to hold back tears.

"you still havent talked to him, have you?"

"well ive TALKED to him..." she squints her eyes at me.

"....but not about that," i admit shyly.

"thats what i thought. y/n, why haven't you just told him that you dont have romantic feelings for him? the longer you wait, the harder its gonna get. no it wont be a fun conversation but atleast theres a CHANCE to still be friends. if he sees you with daichi? AND if he finds out you knew this whole time and chose to ignore it? say goodbye to your friends, because theyre most likely gonna side with him. its the truth, y/n, and i need you to really hear it."

i stare at her blankly, with dried tears and puffy eyes. part of me knows that shes right. im such an asshole for not saying a word. but the other part of me feels like its not that big of a deal. would my best friends really dump me because i didnt want to reject tendou?

"im telling you this because i love you. okay?" she wraps me in a hug. then putting her hands on my shoulders, she says, "please just.. just tell him soon okay?" i nod slowly. god, i think the guilt is gonna devour me.

"lets just have a fun, light hearted night now, okay?" she asks, the bright smile that i missed so much returning. "yeah, that sounds nice!" i reply eagerly.

an hour or so goes by, and were blasting music while playing minecraft. suddenly, the music cuts to my phone's ringtone. "ughh, sumi do u mind seeing who it is?"

she cranes her neck so that she could see the name on the screen. i hear her giggle. "what? who is it?" "its your loverrrrrr" she swoons sarcastically. "no!! ah just let it ring, i kinda dont wanna talk to the guy who won today."

she snorts. "too bad!" she hits answer and throws my phone at me. "you better put that shit on speaker!" she mouths. i playfully roll my eyes, clicking the speaker button.

"hello? y/n?"

"hey daichi, whats up? you dont normally call me this late."

"listen, i know im probably the last person you want to talk to right now," i shoot a look at kasumi and nod, her stifling a laugh. "but try not to hate me. please? i really do know how you feel right now and i would hate me too."

"its not that i hate you, its just that right now its hard to talk to you without wanting to strangle you. ya know?"

he chuckles, "okay okay, i get it. we ARE good though, right?"

"yeah DEADCHI were good or whatever" i just cannot stay mad at him! BUT IM WEAK, AND WHATS WRONG WITH THAT? BOY OH-

"i was gonna ask you to go on a date but now.. now i dont know anymore.." he says jokingly, nevertheless snapping me out of my ajr trance.

kasumi slaps her hand over her mouth. "oh, uh, wait really?" i say, extremely flustered. thank god he cant see how red i am right now.

"yeah! i leave soon, and i really wanted to get a chance to hang out with you, in person, alone for a while." i hear a tinge of nervousness in his voice, which i gotta be honest, is adorable. hes just such a take charge, manly kind of guy that seeing him nervous around me is kinda cute!

"hmm, and what if i say no?"

"then ill go to your house right now with a boombox and wake up the entire neighbourhood playing never gonna give you up."

kasumi and i both die laughing. "i honestly might say no just so you can rick roll everyone at 1:30 in the morning."

"maybe say yes so i DONT have to do that?" he pleaded.

"alright alright yes!! ill go out with you. when and where dummy?"

"ill pick you up at 12 on saturday, its a suprise, and im gonna pretend i didnt hear that last part."

"ooo, so scary. okay, see you then, bye dummy!"

"bye tomato!" and he ends the call before i can get the last word in.

"HE CALLS YOU TOMATO?! i mean you do get pretty red.. kinda like you are right now!!" she slaps the floor laughing.

"everyone thinks its so damn funny.." i mumble, even though i catch myself laughing at it too. then i remember what just happened:

oh my god, im really going out with daichi.

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