Welcome to the Dangerous Side

Birthday Shenanigans Pt. 1

Its my birthday, and also one week until the wedding. I'm still awaiting his return... I miss him so much. I miss his laugh, his voice, the way he made me feel, his smell, the way he looked at me, the way his touch made butterflies appear in my stomach. It's almost been two months, I know he has been away for longer times but this one seems the longest he has been gone. Especially for the kids, Bree keeps asking when he is gonna be back and I keep saying I don't know and then she gets upset cuz I don't know.

Anyways I just got out of the shower from working out and i'm brushing my teeth and getting my makeup and hair ready for the day. So I guess you could say that I'm still in my pajamas. Which is pretty much one of his old band tees and underwear. He would love my dress that I'm wearing today... would legit make it hard for him to be around me cuz i look hot in it! It's this body con, retetched, dress with rhinestone straps that is this deep sage green with knee high black boots along with small fishnets.

Who would have thought I would actually wear dresses and put a small thought into my appearance. Also Emma has been here for like two days and she has decided to do my hair and makeup for today and she has even convinced me to take multiple photos in multiple places.

Bursting in, "hey I think we should do some of you and the kids in just like your more normal life, of you know, being a mom. So mom look all the way. Also bree is up." Why the hell is Emma up so early?!

"It's like only 6:45, why is she up, why are you?" I rub my face while putting on spandex.

"Ms Ma'am it's 7:45. Did you oversleep or something?" she looks at me.

I check my phone, "fuck. I over showered." I throw my, still damp, hair up in a messy bun and my glasses before grabbing my phone and quickly walking over there and picking her up and bringing her downstairs. She is sorta afraid of the stairs here.

"Mommy? Are you otay?" she looks at me, I'm clearly a mess.

"Yes, just didn't realize what time it was. Uhmmm here is your ipad, I will be back with your siblings, go sit at your spot.'' I kiss her forehead and hand her the ipad before bolting upstairs. Why do we have this schedule where everyone is up at 7:40 every morning?!

I stop at the girls room, where they are babbling to each other, giggling. I grab the both, I swear I'll be able to carry them both like this. I go next door and grab Rhett, but carrying all three of them at once is crazy, but I can. I head back down stairs and am greeted with a camera shuttering.

Her jaw drops, "since when?!"

"Since he left me here alone, it's hard when he's running wherever in the world with Tony and taylor. Why could he not take me?!" A tear streams down my cheek, I put each baby in their highchair before cutting up some bananas for them to snack on while I make their pancakes.

She just hit emotional gold, everything that I've been holding back just let loose. But seriously, taking my brother and his family instead of me?! What in the actual hell?! Can he not trust me but he can trust people who were assholes to me my entire life until I started living under his roof and only started to respect me as a person when they found out I was related to one of them?!

"I-" she feels guilty, "I'm sorry addy, I didn't mean to..." she looks down.

I look at her as I sture the mix, "Ems, it's not your fault. Just pent up emotions and the stress of how close the wedding is, and the fact that he isn't back for my birthday and is no longer taking my calls." more tears stream, I stop most of them.

Pouring some of the mix on to the pan in three spots, I wait just a bit to flip. I don't know if she knows how to respond. Honestly I'm just kind of dumping all of this on her, which isn't the greatest thing to do for her.