The Prince and The Jock

Sorrows And Scars

⚠️WARNING: This Chapter Contains Self Harm
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Sokka's POV

It had been a week since Zuko left me. I don't blame him but I wish he would've let me explain. And I haven't seen him at school in the days. I stopped going to practice, I was just so...depressed. I didn't feel like doing anything or going anywhere. Every morning, Katara had to drag me out of bed.

I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to do anything. My routine was the same, get up, go to school, pretend to pay attention, skip practice and then go home. And as I sat in the shower, I let my razor cute into my skin. I now had a total of 5 cuts on my right arm and 7 on my left. It was the only thing that took the pain away.

I couldn't even imagine how Zuko felt. He went to school for a few days, and avoided me the whole time. But after Wednesday, he never came back. Tears fell from my eyes and I sobbed. This is all my fault. Why would I ever believe his father would do something so nice? Why did I leave Zuko alone?

I sighed and wiped my tears, turning off the water and going to bed. "Sokka...don't you want some dinner?", Katara asked me. "No, I'm just tired", I answer. I walk past her and close my door, flipping on my bed. I stare at my ceiling and swallow more tears. Why did I always ruin everything?

I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke up to Katara dragging me out of bed or at least attempting. "C'mon Sokka, you have to go to school", he sighed. I nod and get up. Just changing into jeans and slipping on my shoes, not even bothering changing my shirt. I walk to school, my head down and my pace slow.

"Yo, Sokka", a voice calls out to me. I know that voice, it's Austin. My fist clench at the sound of his voice. "You haven't been coming to any practices, if you miss anymore you might get kicked of the team", he teases and wraps his arm around my shoulder. I shove him off, I'm not in the mood for his shit. He laughs, "Are you on your period or something?"

I walk a little faster, "Dude! Is this about that whole Zuko thing? C'mon it was a joke". That's when I stop. "Just a joke? Austin, I don't know what your definition of a joke is but you let Vanessa rap him!", I practically yell. "Oh please, guys love sex. Besides, guys can't get raped, it doesn't work that way", he groaned. I'm talking to an even bigger idiot than me, that's new. And yeah Zuko likes sex, but he likes sex with guys.

I turn away from Austin. Walking towards school again and leaving him behind. I don't stop walking until I notice I'm right in front of the alleyway. I sigh, would it be dumb to go and sit there for a little? Probably. Yet I go and do it anyway.

I sit down on the cold, hard ground and sit down just behind the gate. I stared at the wall, we had engraved our initials in a heart. I felt more tears as I stared at it. This is all my fault. All of this is my fault. If I had stayed with him then he wouldn't have been raped. If I had let him come with me to get drinks then he wouldn't have been raped. If I had been a good boyfriend, he wouldn't have been raped. It's all my fault.

A sharp sting comes from my arm and when I looked down, I see 8 more cuts. All of them deep and I don't even remember cutting them on my skin. I didn't even feel them until just now.

My vision begins to go blurry and I can feel my eyes roll to the back of my head. I know what's gonna happen. I know what's happening but I don't want to do anything. I deserve this. Maybe...maybe Zuko will finally be alright...maybe he'll finally be happy, if I'm gone. With that I let my eyes close.