easy to hate || gawsten

six

monday.

awsten had dreaded monday. he dreaded having to see geoff again and he dreaded the possibility of geoff remembered what they had talked about in class last time they were together.

he didn't want to explain to geoff what had happened at jack's party.

nonetheless, he showed up anyways since he had already used all of his available sick days due to skipping school.

as usual, awsten met up with otto in the hallways.

"hey awsten, are you feeling any better?" otto asked. awsten shook his head.

a feeling was forming in his stomach, sinking with every thought of geoff that came across his mind. his head was fuzzy and he just wanted to get the day over with.

"i have to talk to geoff today," awsten told him. otto raised an eyebrow.

"you have to?" otto asked. awsten nodded.

"yeah, unless some miracle happens and geoff somehow forgets that we were gonna talk," awsten stated. otto frowned.

"what happened at that party?"

"i still can't tell you, not until i talk to him," awsten said as the bell rang.

"okay, well, i'll see you after class i guess," otto mumbled before walking away.

awsten felt bad, he hated keeping things from otto. they were the closest people they had to each other, so naturally they told each other everything.

with a sigh, awsten began walking to class.

before he could approach the door, a hand grabbed him and he was rushed to a nearby bathroom.

"what the fuck?" awsten looked around, not knowing who pulled him away. "look, if i miss another class i'm gonna get saturday detention and i do not want to deal with that shit."

"shut the fuck up, blueberry."

blueberry.

geoff remembered.

"oh, geoff. hey," awsten whispered with a shaky voice. the pit in his stomach sunk lower and everything grew fuzzier with geoff around.

"i didn't forget, are you gonna tell me what happened or not?" geoff asked with an eyebrow raised.

awsten's heart rate began to quicken and his hands grew clammy. this was what he was intending to avoid. he hoped geoff had forgotten and that he would never have to speak about the party again. he didn't forget.

"i don't know if i should tell you," awsten told him.

"oh come-fucking-on, first you tell me you won't tell me until my hangover is gone and now you're backing out of it? god, you're so fucking predictable, knight," geoff began to complain.

"no, you don't understand," awsten began, catching geoff's attention and making him go quiet, "there's things i don't think you'd want to hear."

geoff looked around the bathroom and sat against an wall in the room, awsten following.

"what do i not want to hear?" geoff asked with a tinge of annoyance lacing his words. awsten inhaled.

"are you really sure you want me to talk about this?"

geoff nodded.

"no matter what i tell you happened?"

"just fucking tell me already."

"fine, good god." awsten glared at geoff. geoff grinned, seeming pleased with himself.

"finally. now, can you tell me what happened?" geoff  asked.

the night replayed in awsten's head, every detail coming back to him as if it had only happened the day prior.

"now, you need to keep in mind that you were drunk. the stuff that happened you probably didn't even mean."

geoff nodded. awsten took a deep breath and looked down at his hands.

"the party, i was leaning against a wall bored out of my mind. i hear a slam and find out someone's pinning me to a wall," awsten began. geoff stared intently, taking in every word awsten had to say. "i hear someone greeting me and the words, 'pretty boy,' come out of their mouth."

geoff's expression faltered.

"who was it?" geoff asked. awsten pressed his lips together and looked up at geoff, creating eye contact. geoff's face grew pale.

"they started telling me a bunch of stuff, giving me compliments, mentioning pressing their arm against mine and saying if i hated it as much as i seemed that they'd regret doing it." awsten's voice grew softer as geoff appeared sick to his stomach.

"they admitted their feelings for me, geoff."

the atmosphere grew tense as geoff pressed his nails into the palm of his hand, trying to hide any emotion that could possibly slip out.

"that person was you."

geoff stood up.

"geoff, wait-"

"fuck off, knight. i'm not playing your fucking games," geoff said, voice shaky and legs wobbly.

"no, listen." awsten grabbed geoff's sleeve and pulled him back down.

"what the fuck is your problem?" geoff shouted. awsten looked back down.

"you'll believe what i said once i tell you this, you know how i was the one who dragged you to jack's room to have you rest?"

"you're fucking lying. you're just trying to fuck with my head, make me feel how i make you feel."

"how do you think you make me feel?"

"i don't fucking know! angry? annoyed?" geoff looked like he was struggling to hold back every possible emotion he had.

"ask alex, jack, or jawn. i told them you were in the room and i told them you weren't feeling good. you'll know i'm telling the truth," awsten told him.

geoff's breathing became faster before he got up and left the rook as fast as he could.

"geoff?" awsten immediately stood up to follow him.

"fuck you, awsten. i never want to fucking see you again," geoff said without glancing at the shorter boy.

"geoff, i told you! you were drunk, you didn't even mean any of it!"

geoff stopped and turned to awsten, making awsten stop abruptly as well.

"you don't fucking know me, awsten." geoff took a step forward. "you think you get why i talk to you the way i do? why i was the way i acted at the party? you don't. you fucking don't and you telling me what i mean and don't mean fucking pisses me off."

awsten stood in shock.

"bye, awsten. don't follow me." geoff walked away.

awsten stared as geoff left, still processing what he had said.

"why did geoff get so defensive when i told him it didn't mean anything?"

awsten's eyes went wide.

"wait a fucking minute."

it finally hit him.

he finally had figured out that there was more to what happened at jack's party than what he thought.