States Designs and Backstory

How do I feel? ~ Texas and Cali backstory

This takes place right after the duel.

~~~~~

Louisiana's POV

I paced back and forth, thoughts of worry flooding my head. A bunch of us were gathered in the front room, waiting for them to return, everyone anxious with who the victor would be.

I told him he shouldn't. I know he has the advantage but the thought of him losing was weighing heavy on my mind.

"Loui, he'll be fine." Kentucky placed a hand on my shoulder.

"But what if he's not." I looked at her.

Nevada was also anxiously pacing around the room. I felt bad for her. Suddenly the door flung open.

Everyone was quick to look to see who stood there. In the doorway was Cali and New Mexico. Cali had tears streaming down her face, New Mexico had no expression.

Tears started pouring from my eyes. The world seemed to freeze.

"No..." I said under my breath.

"They took him to the doctors office." New Mexico told me.

I quickly ran out the door, the rest of the southern states quickly following. I could hardly see as I ran to get there. I silently prayed he wasn't hurt to bad.

Georgia's POV

I paced back and forth in front of the room Texas was in. New York stood across from the door, leaning against the wall.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." York told me.

"You saw him York. How can you see that and think he'll be fine?!" I looked at him. He just looked at me, concern in his eyes.

The door slowly opened and we both quickly went up to the doctor. He looked at us.

"He's badly hurt, and it'll definitely leave a scar, but he should be fine." The doctor told us. I let out a sigh of relief.

He let us go in and see him. He laid on the bed, his chest wrapped in a plethora of bandages. He slowly turned his head to look at us, a smile still on his face. I ran over.

"Texas, you alright? How ya feeling?" I asked him. York stayed by the door.

"I'm fine..." Texas weakly said. He winced slightly at the end of his sentence.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him.

"What?" He asked, still in a weak tone.

"You held your gun to the sky. Why? That's giving her the victory." I told him.

"Exactly." The smile still glued to his face.

Before I could say anything further the door flung open, knocking New York over, and Louisiana ran in and over to the bed. The rest of the south quickly filed in after her.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! WHAT HAPPENED?! ARE YOU OK?! IS HE OK?!" Lou turned to me at the last question.

"He'll be fine." I told her.

Texas' POV

Despite all the reassuring Georgia, New York, and the doctor did Lou was still convinced I would reset.

"Lou... I'm fine..." My chest ached at every word. The pain was almost unbearable.  She looked down at me.

"I can't believe. I'm at loss for words. I have nothing to say to you." She told me, and then proceeded to scold me for over half an hour.

I tuned out after about five minutes of it. I wonder what their all doing at the house right now. What kind of celebration is Cali having?

Cali's POV

I sat curled up on my bed. What did I do? I shot him. Right in the chest. He aimed for the sky. Why would he do that?!

I laid down. What am I supposed to do now? This was supposedly to make me feel better. It was supposed to make everything make sense. I won. Why aren't I happy? I should be celebrating my victory but instead I'm crying into my pillow.

Why would he agree to a duel just to let me shoot him. I thought he hated me? Why wouldn't he take the chance to shoot me? What kind of sick twisted game is he trying to play here.

I didn't even notice the door open. Suddenly I felt an added weight to my bed. I looked up to see Nevada.

"They said he'll be fine." She told me.

I stared up at her. I can't tell how I feel about that. Part of me is relieved, the other part is upset.

I didn't kill him. Which somehow makes me feel better then I would like to admit. But on the other hand, maybe it would've been better if I did.

He would have reset. We could've started over. He wouldn't be such a jerk. He wouldn't push me away this time. He wouldn't be able to remember anything from before, we could've started over fresh. He wouldn't hate me and I would have him back.

I guess another part of me hates that I feel like that. He's been avoiding me and pushing me away since the day we reunited. I don't want to be close to him anymore. He blew his shot. Literally I guess.

"Cali?" I blinked, bringing myself back to see a worried Nevada. "Are you alright?" I sat up, wiping away my tears.

"I'm great." I looked up at her smiling. Genuinely smiling. Why? I couldn't tell you. "I'm amazing." I felt tears start running down my cheeks again as I started laughing. "I've never been better." I stood up. "I'm free now." I looked back at her. Wiping my tears again. "Completely. Free."

I ran out of my room and out to the garden. I ran around, just laughing and dancing. I have no clue how I feel or what I'm doing. It just feels good.

I stopped and looked up at the sky as it started to rain. I closed my eyes and just stood there. What am I doing?

No one's POV

After a few days Texas was able to come home. He still had a hard time moving but he was getting better. Slowly but surely. Cali took care to avoid him for a while.

She only stopped avoiding him once he started coming to meetings again. She never fully understood that day. Never understood what she did. What he did. How she felt. Felt about what she did. What he did. How she felt about him.

He always knew how he felt about it all. He never once blamed her. He choose to aim for the sky and not her. Any pain he felt from it was his own fault. That was that.

He forgave her quickly and moved on. He still felt awkward being around her. He knew how he felt about the situation and about her. But he didn't know what she felt.

All he knew was she hated him.
That was something he didn't know how he felt about.
He choose that. He did it himself. He achieved his goal. But it worked a little too well.
And now she hates him.