Naya and Vince

48

Vincent stood in front of his mother's altar staring at the woman's picture. His room was dark because the curtains were not drawn. Only the light from the candles fire burned brightly in the room. Looking at the burning candle now reminded him of burning and death. Vincent took in a deep breath and shook his head. The candles weren't supposed to remind him of that.

Vincent decided to go to the balcony to get fresh air. His room was beginning to suffocate him. He shifted a curtain and shut his eyes at the amount of natural light that entered the room. He opened the sliding glass door and stepped into his balcony. The sun was still high in the sky. Vincent dragged a deep breath as he rested his elbow on the railing. His eyes unintentionally moved to the Nike logo shaped scar on his left bicep. He winced at the horrid memory that came with seeing the scar.

The accident. People screaming. The pain on left upper arm. His mother's pained groans. Blood. More blood. People dragging him out of the battered upsidedown car. The heavy smell of gasoline. His disorientation. People trying to open the door of the driver's seat. Smell of gasoline. People backing away from the car.

Then FIRE.

He had screamed as the reality of what was going on. Sadly, that scream did nothing. She died.

I wish I did instead.

He felt that ache in his chest again. Fortunately, it wasn't as painful as it had been two years ago. Those times he had done the most terrible things just to get rid of the emotional pain.

Pathetic.

That was the only word he could use to describe himself. He had laid himself bare in front of Nairobi today.

How could he.

That girl was quickly unlocking every chapter to his story and it didn't settle well with him.

Or did it?

It was because of his therapist that Nairobi was back in his life in a new way. Mrs. Rasheed had told him to socialize and have more fun like other kids. Be more friendly with friends and acquaintances. She also advised him to bring closer to himself people he knew he liked being around

He thought it wouldn't hurt to follow his therapist's advice. He hated to admit it but he had always enjoyed Nairobi's company for unknown reasons. Even though they did nothing but solve equations and share trivial chit chats. That was why he had proposed friendship. He felt it wouldn't hurt to have another friend, a female too.

Especially one who wouldn't look and treat him like a broken doll. That was why he had snapped at her when she apologize for his lucid dream. He didn't want her pitying him and treating him like an egg.

He trusted his friends –CJ and Stephen, including Alec, Israel and Olamide, though they weren't as close as before. But they didn't know anything. They only knew that his mother was dead and he was grieving.

Vincent didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Only Stephen knew that he had once self harmed. That there was a time he overdosed on painkillers to help him get rid of the pain in his heart.  That was only because he was his cousin.

But they didn't know why Constance usually left home on Saturdays. They didn't know that he had nightmares and lucid dreams related to the accident. They didn't know the real reason why he didn't involve himself with most of his hobbies anymore.

They didn't know that though he constantly wished to get rid of the ache in his heart, he didn't want to heal.

He couldn't.