The lost pogue

Chapter 3 -JJ POV

29 days, 8 hours and 34 mins. That's how long its been since she told me she loved me.

29 days, 4 hours and 28 mins. That's how long its been since I lost her. 

I take another swig out of my flask as Pope hammers down on the tree with an axe, carving out a heart for their names. Her name.

I feel someone's hand on my shoulder as I turn around, looking directly into the sympathetic eyes of Kie. She hands me the blowtorch and I immediately start heating up the metal. 

I walk towards the heart that Pope has carved out, and start writing the letters. I start with his name. John B. My best friend. My partner in crime. My brother.

But when I get to her name I freeze. If I write this, it becomes true. If I write her name, its as if she's gone forever. She's not coming back like last time. Sensing my hesitation, Kie speaks up softly from behind, 

"JJ? You okay?" she asks

I simply shake my head, before writing her name, but each letter sends a sharp pain through my heart. Just as though it's cracking one piece at a time. One letter at a time. 

JULIET SANDERS

A tear runs down my face, but I'm quick to wipe it away. A hand is placed on my shoulder comfortingly, "it's okay to cry you know man" Pope says softly, as more tears come. 

"I just-" I start, with my voice breaking, "I just always thought that when I'd be looking at a memorial of her, it would be when I was an old man. After we'd lived our lives, gone on adventures, started and raised a family. Not when she barely had a chance to actually live ya know." 

I feel two pairs of arms wrap around me like they have so many times before over the last month.

"I know" Kie whispers as they both pull away, "but you gotta keep the hope JJ. Shoupe said they were presumed... gone. We have no proof. They could still be out there." 

I notice how she avoids the word dead, as I have for the past month. 

"I know" I say, taking a deep breath to stop the tears, "she'll come back. She promised. She'll be back, they all will" I mutter to myself, grabbing her bracelet between my fingers, despite knowing it's probably not healthy to think like this. But I can't bare to think of the alternative. 

"To John B" Pope says, causing me to raise my flask, feeling stronger. 

"To Juliet" I say

"And to Sarah" Kie finishes. 

I take another swig of my flask, another thing I've done a lot more, enjoying the burn as it goes down my throat.

"We'll be okay. I know we will" Kie says optimistically. 

I'm not so sure. 

***

Work. In amidst all this chaos, I still have to work. I have to find money to keep food on our table. To keep my pops alive.

I grab a jug of water as I walk through the restaurant, trying to ignore the whispers. 

You heard about what happened? 
I heard he kidnapped them both
No, that Juliet girl was in on murder. Apparently she helped him do it. Sick Bastards
Of Course it was pogues. What did you expect? 
He's a murderer, she's an accomplice, I'm glad they're dead. 

They're not dead. They're coming back. All of them. She promised. She's coming back to me. 

I walk over to the table where they're talking about them, and I can feel my temper rise.