What the Water Gave Me

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Steve woke to Bucky’s kisses, on his face and his head and his hands. Bucky had desperate kisses, like he couldn’t get enough in during the time he had, and as Steve dizzily came to consciousness, he reached out and stopped him, taking his face in his hands. Bucky looked at him, sitting up on his elbow, and then Steve leaned over and gave him one long kiss on the mouth. When he pulled away, he laughed a little.

“I’ve been wishing I could do that,” he said quietly. “Well, maybe minus the morning breath.” Bucky smiled at him a little. “You forgive me, right?” Steve asked. “Cause I’m sorry I lied.” Bucky broke away and pushed himself back into the water, heading for his board across the cave. When he got there, he pulled it down and wrote and swam back to Steve to hand it to him.

“I forgave you,” the board said. “I forgave you and I love you, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.” Steve bit his lip and nodded.

“Yeah,” he said. “I screwed up, Buck.” Bucky reached over and took the board back.

“You aren’t like Harry,” he wrote.

“Thanks,” Steve said.

“I could never hate you,” Bucky said. Steve looked at him and Bucky frowned down at the ground and Steve pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around Bucky, squeezing him. Bucky squeezed back weakly.

“I love you,” Steve choked out. “I love you. I love you.” Bucky closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into the crook of Steve’s neck and when they pulled away a little, he took his board up.

“Don’t leave me,” he wrote.

What are we gonna do?” Steve replied wearily and Bucky sucked on his bottom lip and shook his head.

Later, Bucky left and returned with another sponge for Steve and they spent the new few days trying to figure something out for the two of them. Bucky cried sometimes, and it broke Steve’s heart so much that more often than not, he’d end up blinking back tears too, and they couldn’t seem to pull together anything.

“What if you build a house on the beach?” Bucky wrote.

“What if you go back and forth from a pool to the ocean?” Steve asked.

“What if you live out here on an island?” Bucky countered.

“What if you build an underwater tunnel into town?” Steve said. Bucky stared.

“An underwater tunnel? Into town?” He repeated and Steve snickered a little.

“It sounds dumb when you put it that way,” he said.

“It sounded dumb when you said it the first time,” Bucky rolled his eyes, but he smiled. Then, “Are you going to sail again?” Steve stopped and considered this.

“I really don’t know,” he said quietly. “My ship is probably somewhere in that graveyard you showed me earlier. And all my crew are dead.”

“Then what else will you do?” Bucky asked and Steve shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He looked at Bucky and let out a long breath. “That ship was ours, Buck. You and me, we loved it like we’d built it ourselves.” Bucky listened. “Everything’s different now.”

“If you stayed here,” Bucky wrote. “You’d never have to go back and do anything again. I’d do everything for you; I’d get everything you need, I’d take care of you. You wouldn’t even have to worry.” Steve looked at him and a teasing smile made its way to his face.

“And who was the one bragging about not dreaming I could stay?” Steve said but Bucky didn’t laugh, or even pretend to like he did sometimes. Instead, he dipped his board into the water, melancholy, and wiped his letters away.

“I guess I want to keep you as much as you wanted to keep me,” he wrote solemnly.

“This whole endeavor would be so much easier if we were both the same species,” Steve replied and Bucky finally cracked a small smile.

“Whoops,” Bucky wrote. “My bad.” Steve laughed and kissed him.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he murmured into Bucky’s lips.