What the Water Gave Me

Chapter Forty-Five

That night, Bucky was still pushing every boundary he had and he fell asleep so close to Steve, Steve could swear he felt their breaths mingle. He stayed up, again watching Bucky's relaxed face so near to his, the teeth behind his lips that just weren't scary anymore and the tiny, soft scales that faded away into skin on his cheek no longer unnatural-looking. His chest rose and fell slowly and Steve watched.

Around midnight, Steve still couldn't fall asleep and he sat up and leaned over and looked at Bucky again. He was reminded of the time Bucky had woken him up, telling him about sleeping and hugging at the same time and he wondered if maybe that wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Bucky sighed a little and shifted in his sleep and Steve's fingers itched to again draw him.

Geez, I love you, he thought and upon realizing this, his heart stopped and his smile fell.

Steve frowned and looked down at the siren next to him and forced himself to remember that's what Bucky was. He was a siren. And sirens killed people like Steve.

What am I doing?! Steve thought to himself and pushed himself up, swimming away, hesitating in the water above Bucky. This isn't normal! No merman goes around hugging sirens, loving sirens! No merman goes around hugging anything at all!! What am I doing?!

He hadn't looked at the situation outside himself for some time and now that he was, he felt horrified. Love?? This was ridiculous! Bucky was a siren and Steve, he couldn't do this. It didn't make any sense. It just wasn't normal.

I don't love you! Steve thought and in a moment of panic, Steve took one last look at the sleeping Bucky and turned around, swimming away as fast as he could.

The water was dark and it was difficult to see, but Steve kept going, fueled by his confusion. He warred in his head, back and forth between Bucky the siren, the one who could split open a human's rib cage with his bare hands, who could poison somebody and doom them to a quick, painful death, who could snap Steve in half if he ever had the slightest change of mind about him, and Bucky as his friend. Who had so much love and affection that he could hardly contain it, who saw pretty seashells and brought them back just for Steve to look at, who grinned and gazed at him with those adoring eyes. 

I thought you'd already made your decision about him, Steve accused himself. Going back on your word already? You told him he was a contract you'd signed. What happened to that?

Sure, Steve thought in rebuttal. But he's a siren. It's like saying I'm going to be friends with certain death! Is it okay to back out if the contract I signed was my death warrent??

But he's Bucky!

But he's a siren!

So what!! Steve sucked in water and let it out. So what!! He's a siren! It's not like he can help that! And he's-

-NOT harmless, actually, he is very, very capable of harm.

And when did he ever hurt you?

Do you not remember three days drying out on a rock?

He apologized.

You should leave now and never go back!

You should turn around and wake him up and tell him you love him!

Steve came to a halt and sucked in a deep breath. He swallowed and ran his hands through his hair, tangling his fingers in the floating strands. 

But do you love him? He asked himself. He swam up and burst out of the water, flicking his hair back and wiping rivers of water off his face. Do I love him? Do I?

Loving a siren is ridiculous. No one's ever done this before! 

I don't love him!

But we were together. I do love him. Steve let out a shuddering breath and rubbed his face. The wind around him almost made the ocean seem warm and his teeth were starting to chatter. He stared up at the sky. The sun was starting to make it's appearance on the horizon. We were a pair. No one else around here has that. It's a fish eat fish world and for one brief shining second, well, it just wasn't. Not for me. I had a friend. And I'm just going to leave him now? Go back to living alone and afraid and angry until something inevitably swallows me whole, is that my plan?

Steve glanced back down at the water underneath him. Bucky was only a mile or so away. Steve could be back in a couple minutes if he wanted to, if he went as fast as he could.

I gotta decide now, he told himself. Now or never. Bucky or no Bucky. Siren and friend or nothing at all.Do I love him?

Steve cupped his face in his hands and groaned, and then he turned back around and dove back into the water.

Why is this even a debate, he thought angrily as he swam back to Bucky.

Bucky was up by the time Steve returned and the closer Steve got, the more he could see how distressed Bucky was, could see his shoulders shaking as he turned around in circles again and again. Steve felt his heart swell and his mood lift looking at him and he pumped his tail harder.

Steve attacked Bucky from behind and Bucky became rigid and stiff in an instant as Steve wrapped his arms around him. Steve laughed a little into the water, glad to be free of his conflict, happy with his decision to be tied only to Bucky, and began to kiss him all over in true Bucky fashion. He was busy making sure each individual scale on Bucky's shoulder had been kissed when Bucky broke out of his grasp and turned around, shocked. Steve grinned at him and threw himself at him again, arms around his neck, kissing his face and his neck, and slowly, Bucky put his arms around Steve's waist, pulling him in, like he couldn't believe this was happening.

Steve took Bucky and tried to twirl him and was a little embarrassed to find he wasn't strong enough to budge him, but Bucky started grinning and tightened his hands on Steve's waist and before he knew it, they were spinning through the water like a torpedo and Steve gripped Bucky tightly.

When they broke water, Steve took a big gulp of air.

"I have to tell you I love you!" He cried in between more hungry kisses all over Bucky's skin. "I just sort of thought that might be important for you to know! And I don't really want to be without you ever! I picked you!"

Bucky grinned at him and began to return the kisses. Their lips met a few times and Bucky cupped Steve's face in his hands and smothered him in more kisses and Steve wound the very tip of his tail around Bucky's.

"I figure you'd want to say, I love you too, right?" Steve asked breathlessly and Bucky nodded furiously before continuing his line of kisses down Steve's neck. Their fingers twisted together and Steve didn't think he could have Bucky close enough. 

A while later, when they finally calmed down, Steve rested his forehead against Bucky's and ran his fingers down Bucky's hair and Bucky smiled and closed his eyes and gave Steve a few lazy kisses every so often.

"You know," Steve mused as they held each other. "I'm not really the happiest merman, and you hate being a siren, but I think..." He interrupted himself to share one more kiss with Bucky and murmured the rest into his lips. "I think I'm actually pretty happy with what the water gave me."

THE END

Hey! Now that we're at the end, I hope everyone enjoyed this and I want to hear what everyone thought!Keep your eyes peeled for some of my concept art I'll be posting soon!! In the meantime, check out my blog (http://aroace-steve-rogers.tumblr.com/tagged/wtwgm) to see some of the beautiful fanworks created for this fic!! They're all incredibly stellar! -BlitheBells