The Art of The Affair

13

I never found out what it would be like to kiss someone with a septum ring.  (I'd looked up the official term for the metal thing in his nose.)  I never found out what it would feel like to run my hands over the tattoos on his arms.  I never discovered whether he kissed as good as I imagined he would.  And most frustrating of all, I never found out how far I would've let him take things.

I unlock the office door early the next afternoon - still thinking about all of these things -  but I'd forgotten he wasn't scheduled to work.  I decided to finish payroll and go shopping, and ended up coming home with a few more bags.  I spent the evening working out my frustrations by tossing out old clothes, washing new ones, and obsessing over him.

The eyes, the caressing, the voice, the scent...he was everywhere at all times.  I couldn't escape him and I didn't want to.

The following afternoon, I sat at the desk and listened as familiar voices and footsteps trickled in.  I could hear Katie, ever the friendly and sole feminine voice in the place aside from mine, whose steps were light and barely creaked the floor.  Then came Jason's slightly heavier steps, and lastly, the familiar sound of boots stalking toward the office.  But they changed course and disappeared into the back somewhere at the last moment.  It was difficult not to take it personally, to keep from assuming he may be regretting the other night.  

After a moment passed, I got up with all intentions of finding Malfoy. I find Ron and Katie speaking amiably behind the bar and lurch to a stop.  I hadn't heard him slip in.  

"Hey," Ron smiles tiredly, ambling toward me.  "Got payroll ready?  I was gonna drop checks off with George."

"Right," I shake my head, hurrying back into the office.  "Finished it last night."

I hand him the bundle of envelopes, banded together by a thick rubber band.  He takes them and thanks me as he turns to go.  He stops a few steps in and jogs back over to give me a quick peck on the cheek.  I offer what I'm sure is a weak smile and a half-hearted wave with a slight raise of my hand.  Once he's gone, I turn and lock eyes with Malfoy across the building.

I look away and retreat back into the office.  

Just after close, after Jason had let Malfoy and Katie out, I watch on my app as Jason counts the drawer and runs the report.  Moments later, the obnoxious roar of Malfoy's bike pierces the silence inside the pub.  Somehow I know that he'd meant that for me to hear. 

----

Sunday meant a day off for everyone.  George came over, along with our old classmate and friend, Angelina, and we all went out for lunch and a movie together.  I was particularly grateful to not have to be alone with Ron.

Back at our place later that evening, Angelina and I left for some shopping while the guys gamed.  They'd barely looked up from their headsets and controllers as we'd said we were leaving.  On our way to the station and on the train as well, conversation had remained neutral, but once we started shopping, she blindsided me.

"You're different," she declared lightly, a disarming smile curving her lips upward.  It wasn't a question.  "Wanna talk about it?"

I could no more talk about it to her than I could Ginny or anyone else.  Our friends and families were intertwined and had been since Ron and I were small.  But even if she could provide confidentiality, I resented the question.  

"Are you asking if I'm about to jump off of London Bridge?" I chuckled.  "If I've gone mad?  I can assure you I'm not.  How are you doing, by the way?  Any news on that promotion you interviewed for last week?"

A sudden wave of anger filled me.  I wanted to leave her there in the shop and not go home for a while.  But I could picture myself coming home later, and the reaction I'd get from Ron, from George, and from her.  Both our families would hear about it within 24 hours.  A big deal would be made out of it.  The recent discreet questioning of my sanity would turn direct and overt.  It wasn't worth it, and somehow I talked myself down and bottled it all up.

But after everyone had left that night, I felt paranoid that Angelina hadn't asked that question on her own.  I felt sure that she'd been asked to bring it up, to fish for information, which didn't help my mood.  While Ron gamed alone, I changed into some workout leggings and said that I was going out.  He lifted one of the ears on his headphones - without his eyes leaving the screen - and asked if I was alright.  

"I'm fine.  I'll be back."

He went back to gaming without missing a beat, and I locked up and set out for who knows where.