The Art of The Affair

23

Draco had been elated at the news that things were finally moving along.  He mistakenly assumed that the damper on my mood I'd failed to hide was me worrying about finding an apartment or something trivial, but he didn't know the truth.   

Some things in a woman's heart were meant to be buried and never shared.

Though I wanted to seek solace in Draco's arms and wake up next to him sooner than later, I didn't want there to be any disruption in the divorce process, which was already underway.  Draco understood why I wanted to wait before moving out, so that I could make sure things stayed on track, though I sensed his impatience.  

Ron didn't wanted to tell his family yet so he couldn't stay with George.  He decided instead to sleep on the sofa.  Otherwise, I was gone when he woke and I was asleep when he came home.  We communicated through brief notes and texts, but never any calls or face-to-face conversations.  

A few days after all hell had broken loose, I was feeling back to normal again - at least physically.  I'd had some strange emotions come over me and a growing sense of guilt I couldn't shake.  I told myself it was normal but I had no one I could talk to about it.  When the owner of the shop I managed stopped by to see how I was doing one slow Monday afternoon, I was reminded that I did have someone I could confide in.  She proved to be an invaluable friend at a time when I had none.  Soon everyone else, aside from her and Draco, would turn on me.

Meanwhile, Draco had bought a mobile phone, which made our time spent apart much more tolerable.  We were also able to spend time together now that I was over my "ailment", and I'd never been more hopeful about the future than the days we spent together leading up to my birthday.  

I'd came by the pub after work the evening before my birthday to wait on him.  I hadn't expected Ron to stop by so late to pick up payroll.  I'd promised to continue helping out after work so Ron wasn't surprised that I was there.  (Draco hadn't needed me to, but it had been a good excuse.) 

We didn't speak as he collected the bundle of checks banded together from the corner of the desk.  I rose from my chair and went to the bar for a cherry Coke while he did what he needed to do.  Draco glanced over at me as he threw a towel over his shoulder and poured a beer.  His smile was warm and reassuring, one I'd never get tired of seeing.  But the smile dropped when he glanced forward again, and as I turned and locked eyes with Ron, I knew that he knew.

Draco had already put in his notice.  He was off for my birthday tomorrow, and the day after that was his last shift here.  I'd been on edge until then, hoping that Ron wouldn't discover the missing piece of the puzzle and provoke Draco into a fight, but even that was out the window now.  

I stood frozen in place, hoping Ron would just go and not say anything.  Instead, he turned and went back into the office, and I followed after him.  I pushed the door just short of closing it and turned to Ron to plead for mercy.  He sat down in the chair, leaned back, and folded his hands behind his head.

"You tell him or I will."

I pressed my hands to the desk, in the very same spot Draco had taken me on, and leaned forward to beg.

"He doesn't want kids.  If you're looking for a way to hurt him, that's your pain, not his.  Hurt me, Ron.  Lash out at me."

"You're in love with him, aren't you?  This isn't some fuck buddy situation like I'd suspected.  God, can this possibly get any worse?"

"Leave Draco out of this, please."

He drops his hands from behind his head and leans forward suddenly.  He holds up a single palm and issues a stern warning.  

"Don't.  Don't say his name to me.  I don't want to ever hear you say his name again.  Two weeks and then we'll have our court date.  After that, it'll be final and you do whatever you want.  Until then, do you think you could just not?"

"I never wanted to hurt you.  I've been unhappy for a long time," I pointed behind me.  "I've spent my entire adult life supporting you in everything except the one thing I couldn't bear to give you.  I stayed mousy looking because you were insecure.  I gave up my career because you were insecure, and then because you needed me to take care of the things you didn't know how to do for yourself.  I've never been unfaithful to you until now, just for the record.  This isn't about him.  It's about two people who should've stayed friends instead of getting married.  Ron, we aren't right for each other."

He looks down, and for the first time, I think I've finally reached him through all of the pain and anger.  

"I need some time to think.  You should go.  I'll let your boyfriend know you left."

"Ron-"

"Go before I change my mind and tell him now.  I said I'd think about it."

I straighten and glance at the time, and then back at Ron.

"You're waiting until after everyone's gone so you don't make a scene in front of customers."

"Go."

I know what this is going to look like to Draco if Ron tells him and I've left.  He's going to think I was a coward, that I couldn't bear to face him when Ron told him what I'd done.  I knew it wasn't going to matter to Draco in the same way it had mattered to Ron, but I'd still lied to him.  Deep down, I was now terrified.  

I opened the door and silently exited the office.

"Happy Birthday, Hermione," he called out.

I didn't look back at Draco as I opened the door and walked out into the cool night air.