The Art of The Affair

18

On the way to the pub the next day, I'd spoken to Ron about how Draco had been picking up Jason's slack for months, possibly longer, and how Draco had recently been considering applying elsewhere.  Ron asked what I thought would be fair for some backpay.  In addition to the raise, which was a bit higher than Jason's pay had been, Draco would be getting six months' backpay for the difference in his old and new salary.  I'd worked a little magic with Ron, but he had agreed to it.  

Ron texted Jason and asked him to come in an hour early.  They'd gone into the office and closed the door, and I'd waited at the bar.  While they talked, I tried occupying myself on my phone.  Eventually, I put it down and just stared into space, letting my mind wander to things I'd rather think about.  When the office door opened a few minutes later, Jason quietly walked to the door and let himself out.  Ron emerged and handed me Jason's keys.

"You'll take care of Draco?"

I nod.  The irony.

"Listen," he paused.  Something was on his mind but he shook his head and pecked me on the cheek, and turned to go.  "Nevermind.  I gotta run.  I'll see you later."

It was his "I love you".  He'd never been comfortable saying it.  When I reciprocated with a "see you later" of my own, I could visualize the upside-down hourglass that had been running out.  There was little sand left up top.

When Draco showed up a little while later, I gave him the news - and the retroactive check for back pay.  He'd been a little stunned.  Aside from being distant all afternoon and evening, he'd gone home alone that evening.  I'd tried not to take it personally but I was disappointed, to say the least.  

The following afternoon, George had come over to give Draco some training on the new manager position.  Ron was too swamped with the fire and insurance debacle.  George had been wearing many hats lately with the short staffing issue at the third location, but he'd volunteered to do it.  It meant Draco and I wouldn't be seeing each other after work again tonight, and tomorrow was his day off.  My mood dipped even lower than the day before.

I watched from a distance as George showed him the ropes and then I vacated the office while they went over the interviewing process, employee paperwork, scheduling, payroll, and human resources end of things.  Later that evening, as I was covering behind the bar for Draco, they emerged from the office and joined me.  George draped an arm over my shoulders as he'd always done, something a brother would do to his sister.

"Go on, love.  Get out of here.  We've got it for tonight."

I glanced over at Draco in time to catch a glare that I hoped George wouldn't notice.  

I'd done nothing but clean once I got home, since I couldn't concentrate on anything else.  It was late when a knock sounded at the front door.  I'd just finished rinsing out the shower, so when I opened the door, I was still sporting gloves.  

I wasn't dressed for company, either.  I'd put on a black see-through shirt that showed my black bra underneath and a pair of short shorts just for wearing at home.  My hair was piled up in a messy bun, held out of my face with an elastic headband and there was a sheen of sweat all over my body.  

I'd never cared about anyone I knew seeing me looking this way.  But seeing Draco, and watching as he took in my appearance from head to toe, was mortifying.

"Oh my God," I whispered.  "I didn't know you'd be coming by.  I've been cleaning," I motion over my shoulder with a gloved hand.

"I can see that," he replied, his voice low and serious-sounding.

He wore an intense expression.  I couldn't be sure if he was here to tell me something bad or if something else had happened.  I invited him inside and closed the door with a feeling of dread.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm not staying long.  There's something we need to talk about."

I pulled the nitrile gloves off and balled them up.  I squeezed the wad like a stress ball as I swallowed the thick lump that had just appeared in my throat, and I waited for him to say what it was I suspected he was here to say.

"I can't do this."

I looked down at the floor, anywhere but at him.  I wouldn't allow myself to look him in the eye again.  My heart couldn't take it.  It was bad enough I'd have to be near him while at work and hear his voice.  Perhaps Draco could run the place now and I could just go back to working for myself.  Maybe-

"Hey," he prompted, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah," I replied, still looking down, and still squeezing.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine.  Why wouldn't I be?"

The hard edge in my voice was a defense mechanism.  My heart was breaking but I was also angry.  My jaw set with resolve as I decided I wasn't going to let him see it.

"Oh, I don't know," he retorts dryly.  "I thought maybe you'd want to know why, or you'd yell at me or something."

"Nope.  Thanks for letting me know.  Anything else?"

I was fighting the tears that were threatening.  Between my clenched jaw and my stubbornness, I was holding on by a thin thread, and I needed him to go.  Quickly.

"Sorry I interrupted something important.  I'll let you get back to it."

His attempt at gaslighting made the urge to cry even more pressing.  I'd never felt so hurt and so angry all at the same time.  I said nothing as he opened the door to leave.  Even as he paused in the doorway, I just kept squeezing the wad in my fisted hand and looked anywhere but in his direction.

"Really?"

"Really what?  Honestly, you're going to let some bugs or something, holding the door open like that.  You came to break things off and you've done it."

I could see movement in my peripheral vision as he stepped through the doorway and slammed the door behind himself.  In two steps, I reached the lock and twisted it shut.  Then I sank to the floor and stared across the quiet room.

Whatever it had been between us was over for him.  It was far from over for me.