ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

17.

YASSSSS PLAY THE SONG DURING THE FLASHBACK CUS I SAID SO.

It's sad because it just hurts.

Ariya

"You got the popcorn?" I asked Rylan.

"Yup." He responded. I walked with him to the couch and we both sat down. He pressed himself into my side and I grabbed the remote.

"So, what's the movie for tonight?" I asked.

"Uh! Uh, um... I don't know." He shrugged. I smiled and browsed our options.

"Spider-Man!" He yelled.

"Which one?" I asked.

"That one, the one with the buildings in the background." I laughed while clicking the movie. Turning up the volume while tossing the remote on the coffee table.

I pulled the cover over us and he hugged my waist, popping the popcorn in his mouth.

"Who's that?" He pointed.

"That's peter's dad." I trailed off.

"Where is he going?"

"Away." I sighed.

"Why is he leaving?" He asked. I leaned my head upon his and let him cuddle.

"He has important business to take care of."

"Did my dad have important business to take care of?"

My eyes widened and I twisted my head to face him, running a hand over his hair.

I knew this question would come up at some point, but I wasn't prepared really to answer him. To give him a logical explanation.

"What do you mean?" I asked softly.

"Did my dad have important business.. is that why he's not here?" Rylan asked innocently.

If only he knew.

This is when the guilt flew over me.

It's my fault he's not here.

I couldn't exactly tell him that his dad doesn't know about him and is also my boss.

"You know it's okay to not have a dad." I told him.

"All my friends have dads, it's not fair." He pouted.

"I didn't have a mom or a dad.. well I did they just weren't present." I told him, cupping his small cheek in my hand while rubbing my thumb over his smooth cheek.

"Who looked after you?"

"Your uncles.. well I really looked after them but that's not the point. Lots of people don't have mothers or fathers, you're not any different or any less capable." I nodded with my eyebrows furrowed sadly.

"Yesterday I saw my friend and his dad was playing softball with him, and-I don't know."

"Why haven't you told me you feel this way?" I asked.