ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

61

Ariya

"This is him on his first Halloween, he was almost one. He was captain America." I swiped the pictured on my phone of the album named: Rylan.

We were in his office, everyone had left and it was just us. He sat in his chair with me on his lap and my back to his chest. His chin resting on my shoulder, looking at the pictures.

"He's so small." Khyson smiled.

"Yeah, I was always scared to dress him. I don't know why." I chuckled.

I swiped some more until I came to his first Christmas.

"I was still in school, and I didn't have enough for a tree with all the money going into rent and baby products so I put the few presents I could afford in the corner where the tree would be and we pretended. He was so excited, that's all I needed."

The picture was of Rylan sitting on the hardwood with a smile and a iPad.

"I saved up for months to be able to buy him that." My thumb cascaded over his face on the phone.

"He looks really happy." Khyson mumbled.

"He was."

I swiped some more.

"That one was his second birthday, he was so hyper, running around the apartment, playing with the mini basketball I got him. Look, Right there, I think I have a video." I swiped against the phone before coming across the video.

"Ok, Rylan show them."

My voice sounded, happy.

Rylan spun around a bit before throwing the ball up into the air with a wide smile.

"He's gonna go pro." Khyson spoke. I laughed at his comment, throwing my head back onto his shoulder.

"You think I could . . . come to his lessons?"

"Shut up!" I laughed, hitting his arm.

I watched his face straighten in a confused manner.

"If you think you aren't being one hundred percent present as a father in Rylan's life you're crazy. As soon as I get home we're telling him, okay. Plus, I need to fill in you in on everything you missed." I twisted my neck to his and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"Thank god." He breathed.

I resumed my head back in its original position and pressed my gaze back onto my phone.

"Here, was when he was I think maybe three or four-it was recent. We were laying in bed watching cartoons, out of no where he jumped on my stomach and started telling me all the ways he loved me, how I was his best and favourite mama. I then told him I was his only mama and he giggled, it feels like yesterday."

Khyson gripped my waist and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"You raised him, incredibly well." I could feel his eyes on me, I didn't have to know when he was smiling. Khyson's smiles radiated this energy that couldn't be matched.