ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

56

Ariya

"You maybe wanna go out for lunch today, I'm not really feeling the crummy break room." I spoke to Kameron. He nodded while grabbing his wallet.

"Sure, come on." I followed him to the elevator.

"You've been pretty quiet these days, what's up?" He asked. We passed Vera on the way out and began walking down the block:

"Nothing really." I shrugged with a smile. He nodded.

We rounded the block and began to make our way into the shop. It was a pizza store.

After we ordered and sat down the table was quiet. Kameron eyed me as I stared down into my pizza.

"Khyson told me what happened between you two, a couple nights ago. I just thought you should know." I glanced up at him as he adverted his eyes back to down to his pizza to avoid my eye contact.

"Okay." I mumbled.

He really told Kameron everything, I guess they really are best friends. I wonder if he told Kameron about Rylan being his. I think I would definitely be able to see the judgement in his eyes.

"I would tell you that Khyson's been through a lot but you were there, and from what he's told me you've been through more."

I uncomfortably shifted my neck while rubbing the back of it with my palm.

"We've been through equally painful events, please don't compare them." I asked nicely, hoping he would drop the topic.

Khyson lost his parents and his grandfather in the matter of years. The amount of time was so little, his life was turned upside down. I went through my fair share of struggles, they all hurt, for both of us. We've both went through the wringer and back, and I think that's why our bond was so strong.

"Sorry."

"I feel as if l'm on sides here, and I don't want it to be like that. You guys fight, Khyson comes back and tells me, I avoid you, no, I don't want to do that. Im still here for you, Ariya. I just wanted to let you know." And after his words he took an unbothered bite of his pizza.

"I appreciate that, Kameron. But, Khyson's your friend, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to interact with me as much as you used to. There was a lot I didn't tell you." I wiped my mouth with a napkin and watched him take in my words with a lifted brow.

"I have no reason to not interact with you." He rested his elbow on the arm of the chair and I smiled.

Deep down I wondered how he'd react when I told Khyson about Rylan. Would he ever speak to me, or would he have liked my honesty. There was no telling how he'd react. Would I lose a friend. Would he get mad at Amara because she hadn't told him, would he blame me if they broke up, but I couldn't think that far ahead.

"Can I ask you something?" I pressed on.

"Go for it."

"If something did happen between Khyson and I would you still involve yourself with me?" I asked.

"Well, I mean, it depends the situation."

I nodded in confirmation.

I didn't know what to say so I simply nodded my head, smiling at him before stuffing the pizza in to my mouth.

-

"Thanks for coming by, I know it's far I just needed someone to talk to." I brushed my hair out of my face and took a seat on a stool in my kitchen.

Zion sat beside me.

"It's no problem." He shook his head.

I sat there in silence, why did I really call him here. Was it to ask for advice? What advice could he really give me? Tell me it was gonna be okay and that I could do this? I've heard that only ten times already, maybe more.

"Do you actually need advice or just a shoulder to cry on?"

I clutched my hands together while speaking.

"The second one."

He laughed.

I used to hate Zion's laugh when I was younger because it sounded just like my fathers. For a really, really long time it was 'dads laugh' and not 'Zions laugh'. After he left it was the only thing that tied me to him, the only thing making me remember him, which was odd. I began to form it into Zions laugh, and of course I still think about it, although it doesn't bother me anymore. I love his laugh now, it's warm and comforting.

"Come here." I leaned into his arms. Wrapping my arms around his torso and burying my face into his sweater. It smelled good, almost like; peppermint with a hint of lavender. Hm, maybe a new girlfriend.

My eyes began to water while he stroked my hair, it was soothing.

"Listen to me, whatever happens tomorrow, happens. At least you won't have anything to hide anymore."

Whenever I had to do something I dreaded I imagined what it would be like right after the storm. Like when you stress before a presentation and then have that calming feeling when it's over, I wish I could transport to that moment right now.

"Okay." I responded, fighting my body for a response.

My eyes burned, I felt okay in this moment and I knew to bask in the feeling before tomorrow.

"What if he takes Rylan?" I've had that though on my mind since the day I gave birth to him almost five years ago. All the nights spent with him clutched to my side, hoping I wouldn't wake up alone, alone without my baby boy and a gaping hole in my heart.

"He won't."

"You don't know that and I'm so fucking scared, Zion. I have it so good right now, and tomorrow when I say those five words everything can go to shit in the matter of seconds. I almost packed our bags last night, I-just-"

"You can't keep running because at one point it'll catch up to you, and you'll need to be ready to face it."