Fluid

Chapter 1

Today is the day. Today your life starts over. My year is going to be different this time. I thought to myself, something I have been doing a lot of lately. Just go down stairs and just say it. She is your step mother, if she can't accept me how can anyone else? What if she hates me even more? What if she beats me? I flinched at the thought of a beating and my thoughts kept jumping around making me more nervous. What if I am too different for anyone to love? I was on the verge of tears. I stopped myself and reminded myself that I want a chest binder. The chest binder I want is out of my budget, which happens to be zero. I need her to buy it for me. I am who I am and no one can change that and there is someone in the world that can love me for me.

I put on a skirt because I felt feminine. It was my favorite skirt. It had went to my waist and down to the middle of my thighs. The skirt was a light blue with black stripes. I put on my navy blue panty hose underneath it. I grabbed my white, V-neck graphic tee that I put out the night before. It had a tattooed hand with a ribbon that says "everything is going to be okay" all in black.

I went to the bathroom and put on my makeup. I styled my pixie cut to be textured. My hair is shaved on the sides and back just enough so you don't see my skin. On the top it was longer and my bangs swooped down just above my left eye. I ran down the stairs to see my father. I screamed with excitement. He wasn't supposed to be home from the Middle East until Christmas.

"Dad! I can't believe your home! Why are you home early?" I hugged him and almost cried in his arms.

"Do you not want me home?" He pat my back and laughed.

"Umm... Dad I need to tell you something." I said trying to sound serious, but I was still in disbelief of my father being home.

"I love you no matter what. Now go on, tell me." He ended our embrace and put his hands on my shoulders while making eye contact with me.

"I just hope you can realize that this took a lot of courage. I am gender fluid and a pansexual. Gender Fluid is a gender minority in which I sometimes feel like a boy, girl, both, or neither. And pansexual means I see people not genders, so I feel romantic attraction to people not parts..."

"I knew about your gender expression since you were in middle school. But I want you to know that this doesn't change how I see you and I know how hard this was for you. I love you." He pulled me back into a hug.

"Thanks, dad" I broke the hug and saw the time and gasped. "I'm going to be late for my first day of school!" I jumped into my car, throwing my bag into the back seat. As I drove to school I thought about everything.

At least dad is home. Step mother is never abusive towards me when he is home. I just can't believe a wonderful man like my father could end up with such a bitch. I hope this year will be different, and with that thought I parked in the student parking lot and walked into the school. I repeated the thought of this year being different.

"Kelly! I am so excited for school!" I cheered hugging her. She had been away all summer so this was the first time I had seen her in three months.

"I don't know why you are jumping for joy over this hell hole. Don't you remember last year?" Kelly said pushing my shoulders down to keep me from jumping.

"I try not to. This year will be different I am sure. Maybe we will go to the military ball together and have dates!" I moved my eye brows up and down, making Kelly laugh.

"We should get to class." Kelly spoke in a bored tone. I nodded and we peeked at each other's schedule. We had two classes together today and none tomorrow. We walked to class and sat in the front seats, next to each other. And that is when I saw them.