Fluid

Chapter 4

The Cut and the Dream
the next month
(Krys and Jamie have been in a relationship for a month now)

"Weren't you a girl yesterday?" a girl snickered and giggled with her friends after pushing my small frame into the nearest locker. I walked to the table where Kelly was sitting.

"So, do you like my out fit?" I said and then started slowly spinning in a circle modeling my plaid shirt and spiked hair.

"Look it was cute and stuff in middle school, but this is high school now. You have to dress like a girl. Or no one will love you." Kelly made eye contact with the group of boys in the next table over. They all got up and walked over. I stood up, trying not to be submissive. I deepened my voice and puffed out my chest.

"What is it, little girl? Are you confused?" slurred one boy.

"You will never be a real boy," another male whispered, spitting on me. I still refused to submit.

"Better watch yourself, faggot," barked another boy who threw a punch toward my face. I tried not to react.

"Oops, sorry I teared your shirt." Kelly said tearing the sleeve off my shirt.

"Why are you doing this?" I spat into Kelly's face.

"Because the world doesn't need any more fags." Kelly looked at the boys and instructed, "get her."

There were about six of them. I could feel the steel toed shoes collided with my rib cage. I counted each punch and kick. And compared that number to the amount of love I share with Krys. Nothing can touch that.

I woke up, gasping for air. I am being ridiculous. We just met. We can be in love. It is impossible. I just sat up in my be thinking about everything. The gang came up in my thoughts a few times, but Krys was right. I shouldn't live in fear.

Today is SAGE. I went once last year and it was okay. I wish I could live forever in the moment in the field when Krys and I kissed. I wonder what is in store for Krys and me. I looked at the clock, 5:00. Might as well get ready. I put on concealer and shaded my face to make a more masculine facial structure. I spiked up my hair and put on a plaid shirt with jeans. I put on a beanie and went on the school website. I filled in the days off from school in on my agenda and I made a detailed home work plan. I made time each week to see Krys.

"Hey. What's up?" I was texting Krys.

"I am now :'D" she responded quickly.

"Funny. Will you sit with me at SAGE?" I text her with the chills going down my spine from excitement.

"What kind of significant other wouldn't?!" She seemed just as excited as me. With every word she said, every breath she took, and every text she sent I fell deeper into a love for her.

"Should I pick you up so you don't have to ride the bus?" I was basically begging her through the screen, but she obviously didn't know.

"Sure. See you at...." I couldn't help but notice how fast Krys types.

"7:00" I looked at the clock to start counting down. A hour to go. I went out and started the car. I grabbed a car air freshener from the garage and tried not to drown myself in my father's cologne.

"See you then" it took Krys longer than usual to respond.

I walked back to the bathroom and played with my hair some more. It was starting to weigh down, meaning I need to start all over. I put my hair in the sink and dried it with a hair dryer. I used hair mud to style the spikes and I used a light amount of hair spray to keep it all together. As a finishing touch I put on a beanie, right behind my ears and far back enough so you can see my styled hair. I looked at the clock in my room and grabbed my things. My legs were struggling to keep up with my mind.

I have never gotten a new, new car. I have an '83 Fier. It is technically a sports car, so I guess that is good. We got it for two thousand dollars, but it needed a lot of work. I love the car. I hated it at first because it didn't have air bags. I wanted a Ford Focus, but I couldn't afford it.

"I am about to head over." I turned my iPhone on do not disturb and started to drive to her house. I honked the horn once I was there and pulled out my phone. "I am here." I text her looking toward the door.

"One sec." Krys responded and shortly afterward she walked out of the door.

"What's up?" I asked as she got into the car.

"Nothing much. I can't wait for SAGE today. Aren't you excited?" Krys spoke happily.

"I am pretty excited. Do you want to hang out with me after that?" I asked pointing to the field.

"Sure," Krys replied. After that we shared some small talk and shared schedules. "We should see a movie this weekend."

"Yeah, we should. I will see you at lunch, babe." I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and she did the same to me.

******lunch*****

"Kelly, I am going to sit with someone else today." I announced to Kelly.

"With who? You don't have any other friends. It's fine I will sit with Abrielle," she avowed.

"I am glad it all worked out then." I smiled and left to go sit with Krystal. I sat down with Krys and met her friends, all of which are in SAGE (either an ally or a LGBT+ member). I tried to remember all their names and referred pronouns.

"I am Jamie. I prefer gender neutral pronouns. I can't wait to see you all at SAGE."

Abrielle and a few other people came to our table. Abrielle grabbed my shoulders and barked, "So are these your queer friends? Have you caught a case of fag?"

"So this is who you like better than me?" bellowed Kelly. I took Krys' hand.

"Leave us alone. We do not want a fight. We are normal students just like you." I proclaimed, I turning to face the two of them. I turned only to see four more people. "If it's me you have a problem with then deal with me, not them. They didn't do anything to you. This is our fight," I shouted to them. I whispered in Krys' ear, "Go get help." I stood up and tried to let go of Krys, but her hand refused to release.

"This is the girl you like isn't it?! That's her. You abomination!" insisted Kelly pointing to our linked hands.

"It is nothing. Now leave us alone!" I spoke powerfully and deeply. A boy walked up to me with his hand on his pocket.

"I have a present for you, fag." He walked up to Krys a took out a blade. He cut her in the stomach. I put my hand over it and followed her to the ground. The group ran away. Krys closed her eyes.

"Ralph, go get a teacher and the deputy. Layla, go get the nurse. I will treat Krys." I instructed and then put my forehead on hers and kissed her. I lifted my head and put my hands over the wound as she bled. I took out my sweatshirt and covered up the cut. "I hope they come soon. I don't know how much more blood the sweat shirt can take..." I was tearing up. I came down to her level and whispered, "Do not let go, Krys. I love you. Help will be here soon."

I felt like I was on the ground for years. Krys was lifted by two paramedics. They took her to the hospital as I explained what happened to the officers. I couldn't help but feel like this was all my fault.