Fluid

Chapter 2

Meeting Her

My heart fell to my stomach when I saw them. Their dark brown eyes made contact with me. I gathered all of my courage and walked over to them. "Hi, I am Jamie. You are?" I said trying to act flirty, but I could feel my failure.

"I'm Krystal or Krys. Nice to meet you, Jamie. May I ask what pronouns you prefer? I have an open seat next to me, if you are interested." Krys shook my hand and I blushed.

"Sure. I prefer they/them/their pronouns and you?" I felt like I need to tell Krys everything. My heart was beating fast and Krys grabbed my hand and sat me down. I smiled Kelly and she looked disgusted.

"She/her pronouns. You know you should come to the SAGE club with me." She pointed to a poster on the wall. I read it and thought I should go. It is Sexuality And Gender Equality club, for the LGBT+ students and their allies. The first Thursday next month is the first meeting.

"Maybe I will. Next month after school is the first meeting of the year." She winked at me and I let out a nervous laugh.

**********lunch******

"I think I have a crush!" I told Kelly as we sat down at a table.

"Who is he?" Kelly questioned.

"About that.... I wanted to tell you that I am pansexual. So I love all genders." I said eagerly awaiting her reaction, with my hands together near my face.

"Oh. So you are gay? Or bi?" Kelly's voice got low and she seemed disturbed.

"Not exactly. I love people for you they are and not their genitals." I was about to tell her that I'm gender fluid, but I decided that for it would be safer for me not to.

"That's not you. You are lying. You just haven't met the right guy yet. You know it is wrong. You are an abomination. Now take it back. Tell me the truth, is this you?!" Kelly seemed to be thinking faster than she was speaking.

It is best for me to lie. "Your right, it's not me." I felt like crying. I felt like my heart was torn into two pieces and left out like garbage, usless and meaningless trash that was left in the sun to turn to dust. I felt the worst emotional pain possible, I lost my best friend. Nothing would ever be the same between us, all those years were torn down by a single attempt for me to get her to understand. I will now only see her disgusted facial expression and only hear her telling me that I am an abomination.

"Good, otherwise I will have to tell the gang, and we wouldn't want that know would we?"

"I'm going to the bathroom." I walked as fast as I could. I was balling into my hands. I locked myself into a stall, slamming my fist against the stall wall. I was over flowed with emotions. Loss, fear, anger, sorrow, and longing all came to me in a tidal wave of mixed feelings.

"Jamie? Are you okay?" It was Krys. She leaned on the stall and started talking to me. "Maybe we should hangout afters school today. We can go to my place or the field by my house. It is a fifteen minute walk from my house."

"I would love to. I will text my dad. My last class is JROTC you can come and get me from there. Do you drive?"

"No I take the bus."

"Seriously? You are junior aren't you?" I laughed.

"I have my license, it just saves gas to ride the bus. I can drive us to my house."

"I just text my dad. He said it was fine. I just have to be home by six because it is a school night." I standing up and silencing my phone.

"Here is my number. I will walk you to class." She opened the door and handed me a piece of paper.

"Thanks." I am going to have a girl friend. I thought to myself. I felt love sick, every minute I couldn't see Krys.