Secret Love - A Taekook ff (English version)

Secret love- part 41

Keeping their distance wasn't as easy as they thought in the beginning. They were so used to skin contact, to be around, that even if there were times when they weren't spending much time with one another, the craving was big. Usually, they were able to give each other the needed intimacy by a simple hug, or just by sleeping next to each other.

But now it seemed wrong. It seemed against all the things they agreed to. Taehyung really seemed to look sick lately, and Jungkook was just scared to the core that he was the cause for this. So he forced himself to spend more alone time, or go out with his 97'liner friends.

Taehyung was righ; now, he was free, so he could test out things he was curious about. He forced himself to focus on that. Yugyeom was his guide in this, showing him private VIP clubs and introducing him to girls. He found himself chatting with them, dancing with them, and starting to enjoy his time. The thought of Taehyung, the guilt he felt, the craving was shoved wide back into his mind. There wasn't anything sexual he did with those girls yet. Until he met Luda. She was a K-pop idol from a big group called "WJSN". They got along well quickly, especially since she was born in 97 too and had a lovely personality. She knew how to rap also, so he hung a lot out with her in the club when they met.

He wasn't blind, of course he noticed how she seemed to be interested in him, how she said clearly she won't date anyone right now, but a bit of fun couldn't hurt. It was an invitation practically, wasn't it? So after two and a half week of breaking up with Taehyung, after the numbing silence between them; he found himself making out with Luda. He drank enough alcohol to loosen up a bit and kissed her while they danced.

The kiss got a bit heated, so he asked her if they want to get away from the club. She agreed.

It was else to kiss a girl; to kiss Luda. It was good, steamy, but it lacked completely of emotions. Emotions that only Taehyung seemed to be able to create in his chest. His hands felt clammy as they sat in an Uber to a hotel. He was nervous. Is he really going to sleep with her?

He was prepared though. Condoms and lube in his pocket, even the hotel room was booked beforehand. He was stubborn enough to try to go through the plan. But he didn't expect to be this nervous about it. Uncomfortable even.

As they arrived at the lobby, he felt really out of place, but he can't just run away now, can he? So he took the keys and walked with the girl up to the room, where they started to make out right after. His hands roamed over her body, groped her breast, making her moan. The touch felt foreign, but he tried to shot his thoughts out. Thoughts of Taehyung that dared to flood his mind suddenly. His smile, his moans, his touch. He was already on top of her; grinding down on her, even having slightly an erect, but his hands were trembling, and in the middle of undressing her, he started to sob.

Luda was alarmed, and sat up, pushing him away slightly. "Hey, what's wrong?", she asked concerned, the sweet girl she was.

"I can't....I'm sorry...I can't...." he covered his face in his palms in embarrassment, sobbing some more.

"Jungkook...look at me...hey", she put her dress back to cover her body, sitting next to him, running her hand over his back.

"I'm so sorry...it's not your fault Luda...you are beautiful and amazing", he wiped his tears away.

She didn't say anything, opted to listen to him instead. "It's just...there is someone else...we broke up recently and-"

He choked on another sob and couldn't stop his tears, especially after she pulled him in a hug. "Why didn't you tell me? I had no idea."

"I'm sorry...I feel like shit...you....you don't deserve this."

It was silent for some time.