AFFLICTION

39 ~ [He Feels Poisonous]

LEERA POV

The man dropped me my home without any word and I didn't even dare to speak to him. I can't even express in words how lighthearted I felt when I finally stepped in my house.

Everything happened tonight were so surprising. I feel like crying thinking about it again. What if they killed us? Or what if those were actually his men and he made them pretend like that to terrify me? No that's inconceivable. But his doings are literally unthinkable too.

I really thought it's the last day of my life. I won't be able to see tomorrow's sun. Anytime a bullet will pass through my head and I'll lay there lifeless on my own blood. I don't even want to think what else I imagined in that short amount of time which actually felt like a few hours probably. I'm just so glad that I'm still breathing. Still alive.

When he bought me to that remote place I was so petrified. Only I knew my own condition, How shaken I was that time. And again there was the fear what he would do to me as he bought me there. But I was firm that even after whatever happened I won't act like an impotent person in front of him anymore. I ain't weak. I ain't impotent.

I closed my eyes, laying straight on the bed. A lone drop of tear made it's way off my eyes down my cheek. What else can anyone expect from a person who escaped death twice? Death was so near to me. I felt helpless everytime. I felt impotent. How am I strong?

My phone buzzed up breaking my thoughts apart. I wiped off my face, getting up and looked at my phone screen which was on my bedside table. It showed the caller name Levi. I took a deep breath and took the phone in my hand. I made sure of calming myself before picking up the call.

"Hey cupcake!" He sounded joyous.

"Hii" I muttered. Even after trying I couldn't make myself sound that better.

"What's the great panda doing?" He asked teasingly. "Missing you" I murmured the actual truth. His voice made me miss him. I feel so down but I know that he could make me feel better anyhow. I just needed him beside me. When you feel that you need someone it makes you miss them even more.

"Do you want me to come over?" He enquired but his tone is still frivolous. "No. I was kidding" saying that I laid on my bed again holding the phone to my ear.

"Why do you sound down?" He asked again and I bit my lip so that my unpleasant sob doesn't leave my mouth. Why is it that when someone asks you about your condition while you're really in an unfortunate condition, it makes you feel even more painful? Doesn't sharing pain lessens pain? But it's the opposite for me. It feels like sharing my pain is like a burden to the other person and it also feels like an agony that the same person will feel that pain because they consider you a close person.

"I'm alright. Just sleepy" I uttered when I was sure my sobs won't oblige my words.
"Then goodnight I guess?" His voice turned low.
"Can't we talk more?" Talking to him made me feel safe. He's like a healing to my pain. Isn't that best friend for? He has always been there for me but it's just me who feels like I'm burdening my sufferings on him.

"Panda said she's sleepy" he asserted plainly but I could feel that grin on his face through the phone. "I ain't sleepy anymore. Talk to me" I wanted to feel usual like nothing happened and gladly he always made me feel like that. From childhood till now.

"Alright. As the panda says" Hearing him a tiny smile formed on my face again.

...................

My eyes trailed on the mirror watching my own reflection with a slight smile. The black graduation dress, made me feel so bright. Lastly I settled my black graduate hat on my head. I still can't believe I'm being graduated today! Finally!!