JAUDAH

CHAPTER 33

They came back to Abuja from their honeymoon and all their families and friends where so happy to see them back but Jaudah realized that something was off from Ammi sensing the way she was looking at her and giving her short replies whenever she asked her something.

They were sitting in their sitting room back home watching a Kdrama on TV but Jaudah's mind wasn't on the movie, she was thinking of what could have gone wrong for Ammi to act that way with her, she knows her mother, something was wrong which she couldn't put a finger on.

"Hmmm", she sighed for the hundredth time and Zain couldn't help but to ask if everything was ok.

"Are you ok? You've been lost in thought since we sat here and you've been sighing after every two seconds", he asked worriedly.

"It's Ammi", she answered.

"What about her?", he asked stroking her arm.

"Didn't you notice that something was off with her, when we went there earlier she answered my greeting while scowling and she kept replying to my questions in brief, I thought she will be happy seeing us back", she concluding sighing disappointedly.

"Maybe she's sick or tired, or do you want to call and confirm what the problem is?", He voiced out his thought.

"Yes please, let's call her", Jaudah agreed and he picked up his phone and dailed Ammi's number which she picked on the second ring.

He passed the phone to Jaudah who sat right before placing the phone on her left ear.

"Assalamu alaikum Ammi", she tasleemed.

"Ameen wa'alaiki salam", Ammi replied.

"Uh Ammi how are you, hope nothing's wrong?, just wanted to be sure 'cause you seem off earlier", Jaudah asked.

"I'm fine, if you can come over tomorrow, I will like to speak to you", Ammi said and Jaudah assured her that she will before disconnecting the call.

She gave Zain back his phone and told him what Ammi said.

"That's not a problem, I will drop you at her place tomorrow 'cause I won't be home also, I have some work I need  to finish up", he said and she leaned closer to his body closing her eyes hoping everything is fine with Ammi.

********************

The next morning, they got ready early and Zain dropped Jaudah at her parents promising to come pick her up by 4 not after stealing a kiss from her.

They bid each other goodbye as she walked to the front door of their living room and knocked twice before saying her tasleem as she got in, Abie, Ammi, Ya Faruq and Ya Adeel where all in the living room chatting, she greeted them all and Ya Faruq gave her an apologetic smile before standing up to leave the living room saying he has something to do.

They all chatted with Jaudah telling them about her adventures at Hawaii. After awhile Ammi excused herself and asked Jaudah to follow her, the walked up to her room and sat on her bed patting the space next to her and Jaudah sat down with a heavy heart not knowing why she's feeling so uneasy and nervous.

Ammi looked at her daughter before asking "I am not a good mother to you?", Ammi asked.

Jaudah's heart dropped, hearing what her Ammi was asking her.

"Ammi why did you ask me such question, off course you're a good mother to me, infact you're the best, I've never felt like you're not good enough to be my mother, you're always there for us, you always put out needs before yours, we are your top priority", Jaudah answered, tears forming up in her eyes.

Ammi shock her head and asked "then why?"

The one question which left Jaudah wondering 'why what'.

"I don't get you Ammi", Jaudah said and Ammi let her own tears fall.

"Why Jaudah, why would you hide a secret from me, why would you hide the fact that you were nearly rapped from me, for goodness sake Jaudah is this something you should hide from your parents?", Ammi asked sniffing.

Jaudah became speechless, her heart beating at a rate she thought was not normal, she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, she tried for the second time but still she couldn't form some words, she felt chocked, she wanted to cry but her tears betrayed her, she was confused, she didn't know what to do, her head felt heavy and before she knew it she was finding it hard to breath.

Ammi who noticed the struggle her daughter was going through, she immediately wiped her own tears and held her daughters hand rubbing them together.

"Calm down Jaudah, calm down, now breath slowly, in, out, in, out", she instructed and Jaudah did as she was told.

"Don't be scared princess, I just want you to confide in me but if you don't feel like telling me anything then it's ok, I won't ask again", Ammi said and Jaudah shook her head.

"No Ammi", Jaudah said in a shaky voice.

"You have every right to know and today I'm not going to hide anything from you", she looked up at her mother and Ammi nodded her head positively signaling her to continue.

Though Jaudah find it hard to narrate the story to her mother, she still managed to, she explained everything and her mother listened attentively.

"When it happened I was so young and I couldn't think straight, I just did what Ya Faruq asked me to do which is to keep it a secret, I had nightmares and suffered from them, but luckily Ya Faruq was always there for me, he never left my side, i underwent a couple of therapy and one way or the other it helped", Jaudah sniffed, wiping her tears as she continues.

"I always wanted to tell you but I couldn't gather such courage, it was hard for me hiding it especially when Ya Faruq got admission and left the house, I was left all alone. The nightmares came back when I got married, Zain noticed and asked why I'm having nightmares, I couldn't hide it from him and so Ya Faruq adviced me to tell him, I did and he didn't get angry or mad, instead, he embraced me and made sure that I felt loved and wanted, I visited the therapist one last time and told her how I'm still having those nightmares but my husband was supporting me in anyway he could", she looked up at Ammi with a tear stained face.

"I didn't mean to hide it from you Ammi, believe me, I always wanted to tell you but I Just don't know how", she said crying harder.

Ammi embraced her daughter tapping her back while letting her own tears flow.

"I'm sorry for not being a good mother enough to figure that my daughter was in hardship, I'm sorry for all the pains you went through, I'm sorry for all the sleepless nights you have due to the nightmares, I'm sorry if you ever felt neglected, I'm sorry if
.....", Jaudah immediately placed her hands on Ammi's lips to stop her from apologizing.

"I'm the one who's suppose to be apologizing Ammi, please forgive me for my stupidity", Jaudah said and Ammi smiled wiping Jaudah's tears.

"I forgave you dear and forgive this incompetent mother of yours", Ammi said and Jaudah hugged her mother crying harder.

Ya Faruq who was by the door all those time eavesdropping wiped his tears and turned around walking away to his room, Ammi already confronted him while Jaudah was in Hawaii and she scolded him alot before telling him that she heard everything from the Dr who helped them that very unfaithful day.

Ammi and Jaudah cried and consoled each other and they continued gisting like nothing happened, both of them relieved as they felt like a heavy load has been pulled off their chest, Jaudah told Ammi everything about Hawaii and how she found the place beautiful enough that she love it, Ammi was happy that her daughter met her righteous man and is finally happy after all the trials she went through.

They made lunch together and ate, Zain came by 4 to pick her up, they bid Ammi goodbye before leaving to their own home.

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Ishamoha...