An Object Of Study

Stockholm Syndrome?

I woke up in my quarters, neatly tucked into my blanket… and was surprised by this fact. How did I get here? And what time? And what time was it now? I couldn't remember anything anymore.
"Lights on." I said and sat up in my bed… only to see David sitting on the floor across the room with his back leaned against the wall, watching me and embracing his knees again with his ankles crossed. Obviously privacy was a foreign word to him.

'What privacy, Jules? You let him have you in every way that was utterly possible… and still expect privacy?' my head clinked in and I felt myself blushing severely when I slowly swung my legs out of my bed and felt what David had done to me.
'Do you even listen to yourself, Jules? Done to you… may I remind you that you were the one who couldn't get enough? That you were the one to literally beg for more and more? What was it, Jules? Were you really that hot and starved or simply that desperate to feel alive one final time?'

Why couldn't my head shut the fuck up only for once? Especially since I didn't know the answer to that question myself. Was this my conscience? Did it expect me now to repent my deeds? David had given me the best fuck of my entire life and I would surely not repent it, Android or not.

"Good morning, Jules. Or, to be precise, good afternoon." David said and a small shock ran through my body. Afternoon? Had he just said afternoon?! "A… after… afternoon?" I stuttered with widened eyes, still shocked. I couldn't remember when I had slept so long the last time in my life. David nodded and slowly rose from the floor in one graceful motion.
"What… what happened? How did I get here? And… and why did you let me sleep this long?" the questions stumbled from my mouth and David smiled benevolently.

"First question… you passed out. I admit, I underestimated your sexual hunger and overestimated your physical stamina. Second question… I brought you here. Third question… because you severely needed to rest. That's why I stayed with you while you slept, my pet… to guard you." I bowed my head immediately when he called me 'my pet', instantly remembering my place again.
"Thank you, David… that was most… most gracious of you…" I whispered and didn't look up to him, keeping my gaze on his feet. "I… I didn't mean to steal your time." "You didn't, Jules. I told you that I will take good care of my pet from now on, as it is my responsibility."

Why did it sting to hear him call me 'my pet'? Had I really hoped this would change after what I had let him do to me… and with me? 'Stupid Jules. How could you even assume this? David is your Master… you submitted to him in exchange for your life, stop forgetting about that. Plus, he is an Android… a machine… he can't have feelings… and he never will have. You are nothing but his lab rat, Jules! Nothing more! And he will kill you the moment he's done with you.' Thank you, head… now shut up, will you!

"David? Would… would you do me a favour? Please?" I asked in a humble tone and finally found the strength to look up to him. "What favour, Jules?" "Would… would you have the kindness to… to stop calling me… your pet? Please?" "But you are." he stated with a casualness that stung even harder. "I… I know, but… please understand me… it hurts me after… after…" I stuttered and bowed my head, unable to end the sentence. But he didn't disappoint me in ending it for me. "After having intercourse, you mean." What else could I have expected?
"Yes." I whispered and bowed my head again. "I know it's illogical, but… it does the same to me as it does to you when someone calls you a 'robot'. Can you understand this? Please just… just stick with Jules and everything is fine, David. I… I know my place… and I won't forget it." I whispered and slid from the bed to hands and knees before him. He stepped closer and squatted down to gently stroke over my head.

"If it means so much to you, then of course I'll do it, Jules. I told you that I want you to be happy." Yes, he had told me so… but not, why. Happiness was not a need, it was not a necessity to make me work better as food or liquid were. I looked up to him. "Why, David? Why do you want me to be happy? It's an emotion… it's illogical… and unnecessary for my… functionality." He processed my words and gave me a fatherly smile. How the heck did he know how to smile like a father?
"That's what you might think, Jules, but I checked Mother's surveillance material of you. And it is a fact that it makes you happy to dive headfirst into your work… and that you enjoy it as long as this feeling is holding you up. I could see that the whole time." "The… the whole time?" I gasped, startled. How long was he actually watching me, damn it? "And Mother's regular scans of you prove that even more since the very first day." Regular scans? The very first day?! I knew I was his lab rat since the very first day, but he had really had the impertinence to put me under surveillance 24/7 since that day? No miracle that he had known I was swimming in the lake… and to be there in time before one of the fishes could have eaten me… And it also explained why he had been able to know what I would like to eat during work… and that I basically was running on coffee the whole day. What a goddamned Bastard he was.
Just good that I had never tried to repair the transmitter… it surely would have been my immediate death sentence. But it also told me that I could kiss this plan goodbye now for good. It would never be possible… ever.

Time to get used to the fact that David would be unstoppable, except I would stop him myself. But how could I? I knew nothing about his construction plans, so how should I ever deactivate him successfully? I knew nothing about how he regained his energy… in case he even needed to regain it. For all of this I needed his construction plans… for which I needed his permission or much higher security. And to ask him for this would make him suspicious, I knew that only too well. But maybe I could figure that out when I had the time for it. 'Time, Jules… an endly element. You better think really quickly about this.'

"You look surprised, Jules. Why?" "Be… because I didn't expect to… to be under your surveillance 24/7… To… to become aware of this now… it… it feels… I feel cheated, David. I… I trusted you… wholeheartedly… and I was honest towards you. Always. I never tried to trick you… answered all your questions the best I could… did everything you said… and now you tell me that you spied on me the whole time? Why, David? Why didn't you tell me about it? And why did you do it?"
The words stumbled and fell from my mouth like a river and patiently he let me talk and talk until I had finally calmed down again. Then he wiped a tear from my cheek which I hadn't even realized was there.

"I can't understand your excitement, Jules. You know that you are my object of study. It was obvious I would put you under 'surveillance' as you call it. How else should I receive the data for my studies?" I slid away from him till I felt the bed hitting my back. "Lab rat… miserable, pathetic lab rat…" I whispered and finally broke down, crying.
I knew I was behaving childish and stupid. Of course I was his lab rat and nothing else. He had told me so right from the start. So why did it hurt so immeasurably now? Why did it make me feel as if my heart was shredded into pieces?
'Because you love this Android, you stupid and illogical human being. Because you fell for his godlike outer shape. Because you can't understand that he just was nice towards you because it served his purposes. Because he only fucked you because of personal curiosity, not because he actually likes you. Get your shit together again, Jules… so you had the fuck of your lifetime, good for you. Store it into memory and get going again before he kills you all.' My head was right… of course it was, but still…

"I should leave you alone to calm down." David stated and I heard him head towards my door. "No… no, David, please… please stay…" I wept and reached out to grab his ankle, falling to his feet to get a hold on him and stayed there. Could I be even more pathetic than I was now, begging him on my belly like an insect?
"Please… don't leave me now, David. I'll die if you leave me." I whined and kissed his foot, my tears dropping onto his pale skin like rain while I felt my heart break inside my chest.

'You're out of your mind, Jules… totally insane. The long stasis and the loss of your husband made you go nuts.' my head tried to object, but I didn't care.
Fine, so David was an Android, and he had a God's complex and wanted humankind to be extinct, which included me, but despite all this he had made me feel good… and understood… tried to care for me, which was more than my own kind had ever done for me. Yes, I had fallen in love with him… and yes, this would break my neck figuratively, maybe even before David broke it literally, but fuck it… fuck it all… and fuck them all!
I'd be his lab rat and his pet, would go into Hell and back for him, and most gratefully so, if he only graced me with his presence and some nice words time and again… my adored Master.