An Object Of Study

Motivations

Damn, my head felt as if it would burst any second and I groaned in pain, squeezing my eyes shut because it felt as if some awful pressure against them would make them jump from my skull otherwise. This was worse than any migraine I had ever had in my life…

"Shhh… easy, my pet…" I heard David's soft purr reaching my ear and felt soft caressing fingers massaging my head. "It won't last long, my poor Jules. Here… you need liquid…" he purred, lifted my head and I felt something touch my mouth and opened it when cool liquid slowly swapped against my lips. Water… o God, I was so thirsty, I could have emptied the whole lake outside. I arched my neck and swallowed greedily.
"Yes, my pet… drink… that will help…" he whispered into my ear, his baritone caressing my ears like softest velvet and silk, while he put another cup of water against my mouth. I also emptied this one and slowly started to feel a bit better. Carefully I opened my eyes, afraid that the pain would return when the light would hit my eyes, but it didn't… David had dimmed the lights in my quarters almost completely.

"Better now, my girl?" he asked and let my head slowly sink back onto my pillow. "Yes… thank you…" I whispered, hardly seeing more than his shape in the dark twilight. "David… why did you… why did you remove my… why didn't you tell me beforehand? I… I thought… you said, you… that you want to take care of me. That… that your pet… means something to you… that you'd always be honest towards me…" I started to sob, feeling hurt deeper than ever before in my life.

The tiny rest of my logic knew how stupid this actually was. I didn't mean anything to him and I never would. I was nothing more than a lab rat… a source for samples… a toy for his personal curiosity, nothing more. But my stupid hungry heart silenced my logic again, as it always did. Why did I have to fall for this goddamn handsome Android? This was insane… I was even more insane…
David wiped the hot tears from my face with the soft caress of a feather and this soft touch was more than I could handle in my actual state. "Please, David… why are you doing this? What have I done to you that you want to destroy me? That you torture me? Do you enjoy seeing a human suffer?" I cried and turned my head away.

"Enjoyment… no concept I'm very familiar with. Help me to understand it. What do you enjoy, my little pet?" he asked and I felt him loosen my restraints. "Stop it, David… please stop playing with me… I… I can't stand your games anymore…" I sobbed and rolled up into a ball of sadness and tears.
"What do you mean with games, Jules? I'm not playing games." "Yes, you do… you threatened my life although I made you the offer to restore you… having already admired you for being the marvellous creation that you are… you tested your lab rat for the first time then, knowing human nature enough that we either fight or beg for our worthless little lives. And you didn't tell me by accident that you are David… you wanted me to know it, you goddamn bastard, testing your rat again. I could have lived with all this, David… and I still could live with it. But I was stupid enough to tell you about my emotions for you, and now something has changed…"

He stroked my head with such gentle touches again, giving me the feeling that he would care. I hid my face in my pillow and started to cry my heart out… maybe that would make me feel better… maybe it would cause David to leave, but he didn't.

"What has changed, my pet? Everything is as always." "No… no, it isn't…" I sobbed and slammed my fist onto the mattress. "I fell in love with you, goddamnit… because YOU made me, you bloody Android! It's your damn fault because you had to fuck me so good for no reason at all!" I screamed and fled the touch of his hand, sitting up to try killing him with a deadly glare… probably even this looked pathetic...

"And after you did… you didn't stop turning my head, you bastard. You never stopped pulling my triggers… and you still do at any fitting or unfitting occasion. If you wanted me to be happy, David, then you wouldn't have done this. But I don't expect you to understand me… a machine will never understand a human…"