William Shakespeare: Sonnet 18

Chapter 7

Chapter 7. And every fair from fair sometime declines,

I felt like a ghost.

I forgot how I got home, I forgot how I lied on my bed after shower, I forgot how I cried my eyes out.

I just wiped my face when I felt wetness on my face, and I suddenly found out... I cried. I cried for the man that I am hopelessly in love, that I destroyed his future with the love one he had before.

Love is so cruel. If the enemy of love is time that was cold like ice too, than I guess love have to be strong and emotionless too... what I am thinking about?

Now I am going crazy for him. Love have driven me crazy, so sweet yet so bitter; so pleasurable yet so painful; so gentle yet so cruel.

Love pulls you down to drown, than when you were about to die, it pulls you from the water and tell you that this is mercy; it cuts you with a knife until you were full of wounds, than stops when you couldn't scream out anything, wrapping you with care and tell you this is what you have to go through to have it.

Just the same as Chris.

I saw his love and happiness when he sees me, but is that just pity? Am I wrong?

And that woman, how could she ruin the love that Chris gave her? Although I didn't know them for long, but I believe that he is nice and great to his lovers.

Not all the people around an angel are great, and angels don't stay perfect forever. Not all couples are blessed by love, and love don't stay love forever. The sun will stop burning one day, and stars will lose their light on day.

Devils are fallen angels.
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I felt like a man who travelled for a long time in the dessert with so little water.

So tired, so thirsty for... love? Solace? I guess.

Since Tom came out from the washroom, he didn't look as great as before.

Not that he is not beautiful anymore, it's just he is... more... vulnerable, fragile, and lost. Emma took him home worriedly, but she looked at me thinking.

Sarah was long gone, and I didn't have the thought to chase her back after she said such thing.

Did she think of me that superficial? I admit that I was interested in Tom is because of his look, but a person that could really get my heart is their soul.

Everyone is superficial at first, I know, but time reveals who they really are, and it turns out that Sally was overly possessive, and Tom... he is fine, I guess?  

I guess I have to know him more. If I really like him that much, I have to know him more, and I hope that he is not another Sarah. Sarah couldn't bear me wanting to know and care for everyone that is worth it.

I might care if he was just a guy with normal look, or even not that good looking, but I know that I will be just like today, so dazed because of his beautiful mind, soul.

Devils have wings too, it's just a matter if they have hope of themselves to be pure as angels.