Dulo.

8: Confuse

That night, I just shut down. Pagod na ako. Ayoko munang mag-isip. 

Kinabukasan, nagising ako sa kirot ng aking paa. Bumangon ako at nang naibaba ko ang mga paa ko, napadaing ako sa sakit. 

Mas masakit ata ngayon kung ikukumpara kahapon. 

I spent a few moments alone nang may kumatok sa pinto. Nakita kong bumukas ang aking pintuan at pumasok si Archer. 

"Hi," unang bati niya. Agad naman niyang binaling ang atensyon sa injury ko. Lumuhod siya sa isang tuhod at hinawakan ito. 

He sighs. I rolled up my pajamas to let him see my injured knee as well.

"If only you had said a word…" Malamig niyang sabi. Hindi niya naman tinapos ang nais sabihin. 

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. 

Bago tumayo ay inusisa ko muna ang sakit. Ang tuhod ay nagkulay lila na habang ang sa paa ko naman ay lumalala. Bukod doon, kumikirot pa ang dalawa. 

Agad naman akong inalalayan ni Archer. I just mumbled "bathroom" so that he understands me. 

I felt his hand touch my waist as I put my arm around his broad shoulders for support.

Wow, this feels like nothing raw has transpired last night. 

"I'm sorry, Arch. I'm sorry," mahina kong sabi sa kanya. I do not know how to console him when I've apparently done him pain. 

I see him close his eyes and heavily breathed out. When his eyes opened, they were no longer bloodshot. He looks worried, tired, and hurt. He blinked a few times before catching me staring at him. He then looked away. 

Once more he exhales and renews his gaze at me. 

"You went through a lot today. Magpahinga ka na," sabi niya. 

"So did you," I whispered. Agad ko pinalis ang sariling mga luha nang naramdaman ko ito sa aking mga pisngi. 

"You're crying. You're exhausted again," He said. He extended his arm to wipe my tears with his thumb. "If you need anything, I'll be outside."

With that, he left. 

Maybe Archer is just as good as I in pretending to never have noticed, or maybe he is quick to move on. 

With that in mind, I just realized that I hurt at his expression. He looked exhausted and unhappy. It could be because of yesterday's activity. It could be because of me.

I know I have no right to say this, but ayoko ng ganoon. Ayokong nasasaktan siya. Ayokong napapagod siya.

Muntik akong madulas sa banyo, buti nalang at hindi natuloy. Kung nagkataon, tatlo siguro magiging injury ko at magmumukhang tanga pa ako.

Agad akong nagbihis pagkatapos. Pumili ako ng isang plain long tee at sweatpants para komportable. I also tried to dry my hair, pero hindi ko na tinapos. I feel like I don't have much energy for it. Mapapagod lang ako.

I find Archer sitting by my desk paglabas ko ng closet. His gazes were hawk-like; bawat galaw ko ay binabantayan. Hindi naman nagtagal ay nilapitan niya ako para alalayan, though hindi ko naman siya kailangan. Kaya ko naman. 

"I brought some of your stuff down. Do you need anything else?" Sabi niya. I just grabbed my phone and now, my crutches too. 

Hindi pa kami nakakababa ay kumirot ang aking paa at napakasakit. Hindi ko naiwasang huminto at ngumiwi sa sakit. 

I feel my mouth water. It really hurts. 

"You need to take meds again," wika ni Archer. I felt his hand rubbing my back to soothe me, but all I can think about is the gnawing pain from my sprain.