Desired Love

CHAPTER 37

STELL's POV

Nakatulala lang ako, I'm still processing what Vera confessed to me. We really have a child... Si Elli. That cute and adorable kid is our daughter.

This is now when I realized how jerk I am, how jerk I was back then. I believed in a lie. Sa kasinungalingan ako naniwala at hindi kay Vera na nagmakaawang paniwalaan ko siya. I just misinterpreted the thing that I saw years ago. Hindi ko pinakinggan si Vera, at napakagago ko para gawin iyon.

I remembered the times when she begged to talk to me. Naalala ko yung panahon na nagmamakaawa siya sa akin na paniwalaan ko siya.

Ngayon nagsisisi na ako. Yes, Elli knows me, but not as her Dad.

I badly want to go back to her right now and tell her the truth. But just like what Vera said, hindi namin bibiglain si Elli. We will tell her about it slowly.

Imbis na pumunta ako kay Ken dahil inaya niya akong lumabas at gumala ay diretso nalang ako na umuwi sa condo. I informed him that I can't come, may iba pa naman siyang pwedeng makasama, ewan ko lang ba't ako pa naisipang inaya.

I thought of things I could do with Elli. Babawi ako. Wala ako sa buhay niya ng ilang taon kaya sisimulan ko na ngayon, babawi na ako.

Gusto kong mabigyan ng kahit na ano si Elli. I want to give her gifts, kahit na walang okasyon ngayon, gusto ko siyang bigyan ng regalo. I want to give her anything and everything. I missed so many special occassions in her life.

I suddenly got the urge to go to the mall and shop things for her but how? Makikilala ako ng mga tao roon tapos makikita nila akong namimili ng gamit ng bata? People will wonder why I'm doing it and for sure there will be rumors, baka sabihin na may anak na ako, tinatago lang. Well, I do really have a child, but I have no plan on hiding Elli. Gusto ko siyang ipakilala sa mga tao, sa mga taong importante sakin pero may oras para roon. I still have to fix things with her, and I guess, with Vera too.

Morning came and I immediately went to my parent's house. Nandito sila Mama, hindi na sila umaalis parati. I have to tell them that I have a child, that they already have a grandchild.

"Ma..." I called her.

Saktong pagdating ko ay nag-aalmusal na sila ni Papa kaya pinasabay na nila ako.

Mom looked at me waiting for me to talk again.

"Pwede ka bang mamili ng mga gamit?" tanong ko.

Saglit siyang natigil tsaka nagtatakang napatitig sa akin. Her brows were furrowed, confused by what I asked.

"Gamit? Gamit mo? Pwede naman." aniya.

I immediately shook my head.

"What I mean is... Could you please shop some kid stuffs? You know, mga damit o laruan o kung ano pa na pwedeng magamit ng seven years old na batang babae." sabi ko.

"Para ba kanino?" tanong ni Papa.

I dropped my utensils first before letting out a sigh. Umayos ako ng upo tsaka sila tinignan ng seryoso.

"I have something to tell you two... 'Wag po sana kayong mabibigla." sambit ko. They were just waiting for me so I proceed. "I... I already have a child... H-Her name is Elli..." I finally said.

Mom gasped. Bigla namang napatayo si Papa sa kinauupuan niya.

I looked at them both. Dad's forehead creased. They can't believe what I just blurted out.

"Kanino ka may anak? Kailan pa?" seryosong tanong ni Papa nang makabawi siya mula sa pagkakagulat.

"That was years ago... Seven years old na nga ngayon si Elli." I said.