Just Between us

Chapter 7

Josh:

I don't know how, but I fell in love with Riannah.  It just kind of, happened.  Like one day, I just saw her, and I didn't want to ever look away.  Everything about her seemed beautiful.  Her eyes, her honestly, her laugh.  I had never felt this way before.  Sure, I had dated other girls, but they had never made me feel like this.  I was terrified yet happy at the same time, if that was possible.  The terrifying part was, that she made me want to be honest with her.  Even though she knew a lot of things about me that most people didn't, she didn't know everything.  It was killing me.  I needed to tell someone but I couldn't.  I loved her, and if she knew, she'd probably never look at me again.  No, it was just going to haft to be my dirty little secret.

Me:

I was in love with Josh.  I realized that afternoon on the couch.  It just felt so good to be with him, he made me feel like everything was going to be ok, even if it wasn't.  Maybe it was his easy smile, or the way I could tell him things and he'd understand, but he just made everything better.  Sure, life with Josh was chaotic, and I worried about him a lot, but everything just seemed to come naturally with him.  No faces or fronts.  I could just be Riannah, and he could just be Josh.  For the most part.  I knew he was hiding something.  I didn't know what though.  But it was ok.  I'm sure he would tell me if it needed to be said.  I mean, he was my best friend after all.

Josh:

I never officially asked Riannah out.  When we were out walking one night, I just took her hand, and she didn't pull away, instead lacing her fingers between mine as if she had been waiting for this moment.  It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.  It was like an unspoken agreement.  We were now going out.  It made me so happy, yet sad because I wanted more than anything to tell her, but I couldn't.  I just, couldn't.

Me:

It felt so good.  I had never been in a real relationship.  (Unless you count Ethan Wilder kissing me on the cheek in third grade and me punching him in the eye for it.)  I loved Josh so much.  Being with him made me so happy, and when he disappeared, I worried about him twice as much.  I wish I knew where he went.  I knew he didn't stay in the neighborhood. I would have found him wandering around.  I also knew that when he disappeared, he smoked.  He tried to cover it up, but I could smell it on him when he returned.  But I didn't say anything.  I just let him think he was clever.  We all have dirty secrets, right?  I just hope that this was all to his.

Josh:

Some people plan their first kisses, hoping they'll be romantic and spectacular.  I didn't see how you could plan something like that.  Wouldn't it just feel, forced?  I was not expecting my first kiss with Riannah at all.  Exactly like falling in love, it just happened.  One night we were walking along and I stopped to pick her a brown eyed susan from somebody's garden.  She smiled at the gesture and brought the flower to her nose.  As she did, some of her hair fell from behind her ear, hiding her face.  I reached out and tucked it back into place, my fingers falling just below her ear and resting gently on her neck.  She looked up at me, and then slid her arms up and around my own neck.  She reached up on tip toes, and the next thing I knew, I was kissing her.  It wasn't the rough, tongue down each others throats kind of kiss.  It was passionate and sweet like her. She tasted like cherries.  The kiss didn't last long.  But it didn't have to.  It was in a word, perfect.  She pulled back and placed her hand on my cheek, her thumb slowly moving back and forth.

"I love you." she breathed.  I forgot entirely about the rest of the world right then, acknowledging only how much I loved her and how beautiful her eyes were in the moonlight.

"I love you too" I whispered back.  And then I kissed her again.  And again.  At that moment, I didn't care about anything else.  All I wanted to do was stay here forever with her, keeping her close and never letting her go.  

She still had the flower I gave her when she crawled through her window that morning.  It stayed on her desk long after it had withered and died, a reminder of that night, for weeks to come.