Just Between us

chapter 9

Me:

It was 2:15 in the morning, and I was up pacing.  My mother was out of town, so I didn't have to worry about being quiet.  Josh was gone again,  and this time I was really worried.  He had been gone for a week, the longest he'd ever been gone.  His parents had noticed this time and the police had started to get involved.  I had been out every night, looking for him, but I haden't found him.  I jumped when the phone rang, tripping over myself as I ran to answer it.

"Josh?"  I asked.  Who else would be calling at 2:15 in the morning?

"No, sorry, it's Matt."  Came the answer.  I sighed, playing with the necklace Josh had given me a few weeks back.  It was a simple gold chain with a heart pendent.  I haden't taken it off since he gave it to me.  

"It's ok Matty."  I said.  "I was just really hoping you were Josh."

"Has he called you at all?"  He questioned.

"No." I replied sadly "How about you?"

"Uh-uh.  I'm really worried about him."

'Me too."  I glanced at the clock. "Hey Matt, I know it's late, but do you want to come look for Josh with me?  I've been out looking for him every night."

"I'll meet you at your house."  Matt agreed without hesitation.  "I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye Matty."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and grabbed my jacket and mitts.  Even though it was only September, the nights had turned quite cold recently.  I hoped Josh at least had a coat.  I went outside to wait for Matt.  When he got there, he took one look at me and opened his arms.  I gladly walked into them.  He held me tightly and I did the same to him.  I pulled back and looked at him.  He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in a long time, and he looked as if he had been crying a bit.  I hugged him tightly again.

"You're a good friend Matty."  I told him.

"Then why don't I know where he is?" He asked.  I pulled back again and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Matt.  This is not your fault.  Josh doesn't tell anyone where he goes.  Not even me.  You can't beat yourself up for this.  Do you understand?" He just nodded.  "Come on," I said.  "Lets go."

We walked along, taking dark alleys and giving anyone we met a description of Josh, asking if they had seen him.  Some people recognized me from my earlier excursions.  They all just shook their heads, until we came across a homeless lady who I had met on several occasions before.

"Excuse me dear." She said kindly "But are you still missing your friend?"

I nodded, moving closer.  Matt, who had been shadowing me did the same.  "Have you seen him?"  I asked anxiously.

"Well," She replied "I met a boy who matched your description fifteen minutes ago, just around the corner.  I can show you to him if you like."

"That would be great!" I gushed "Thank you!"

She led us down the street and around the corner.  There was a boy there.  He was tall and skinny.  Very skinny.  His head was down so that his long greasy hair covered his face but I knew it was Josh.  I turned and hugged the woman.

"Thank you so much!" I cried, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

"Your welcome dear." She said.  "But I should warn you, I'm pretty sure your friend is crashing right now."

"Crashing from what?"  I asked.

"Heroin, I think." She replied.  "Your friend needs help."

I nodded. "I know."  I turned to look at Josh.  Matt was already with him.  I looked back at the lady.  "Thank you." I said again.

"He's lucky to have friends like you."  Was all she said. Then she turned and left.  I quickly rushed over to Josh, kneeling beside him.  He had red eyes, with purple bags under them.  He was wearing nothing but a sweater and was shaking badly.  I started to give him my jacket, when Matt stopped me.

"Mine is bigger." He explained.  He took off his coat and wrapped it around Josh.  Josh looked at us then, as if just realizing we were there.  He doubled over in a coughing fit, making his shaking twice as bad.  When he finished he looked up at me.

"What are you doing here?" He asked weakly.  

"Looking for you, dumb ass."  Matt exclaimed

"Matt." I said, taking Josh's hands.  They were like ice.  "Not now."

"I'm just saying what you were thinking"  He retorted.  I didn't argue with him, instead kissing Josh's forehead.

"Josh," I said as I pulled him into my arms, cradling him against me "You're burning up."

"That can't be,"  He replied, teeth chattering. "I'm freezing."

I motioned for Matt to help me.  "Come on," I said as Matt and I propped him up between us.  "Let's take you home."

"No!"  He almost shouted.  It brought on another wave of coughing.  "I can't go home yet." he said once the coughing died down.  "Not like this."  He looked down at himself, then back up at me.

"Fine then."  I told him.  "We'll go to my place.  My mom's gone for the weekend, so you can stay there for the night."  He didn't argue this time, instead letting us half lead, half drag him to my house.

"Oh, Ramsay,"  I murmured quietly under my breath "What the fuck have you done to yourself?"

Matt:

I watched as Riannah sat on the edge of the bed where Josh was now lying.  Together we had managed to get him to Riannahs house,convince him to take a hot shower, and eat some soup.  He was sleeping now.  Riannah had tucked him up in her bed, still in his dirty street clothes, minus my jacket.  She didn't seem to mind how filthy they were.  She just sat there, singing quietly and stroking his hair.  I recognized the tune she was singing.  It was one that Josh had wrote for our new band.  Not that Ramsay's Fiction was going anywhere, because Josh kept disappearing.  I was so fucking mad at him.  I was glad he was safe now, but still, how could he do what he did?  Riannah had told me what the homeless lady had said.  How could he not have told us?  But then again, how could we not know?  Everything seemed so obvious now.  The disappearing, why he was so skinny, why he always seemed strange after smoking at a party.  I felt like a terrible friend.  I went and sat down on the opposite edge of the bed and looked at Josh.  He was pale and thin, with dark circles under his eyes and sunken cheekbones.  I couldn't look at him for long.  I got up and started pacing.  The clock said it was half past five in the morning, but I was wide awake, ready to burst.  I stopped and looked at Riannah.

"How can you be so fucking calm?"  I asked quietly so as not to wake Josh.  "I'm about to explode, and you're just sitting there, calm as you please!"  Riannah stopped singing and looked up at me.

"I'm mad too,"  She said, equally as quiet.  "but Josh needs me right now.  What good will blowing up at him do?  It won't make anything better."  She stood up and walked over to me, putting her hand on my shoulder.  "Josh needs help." She continued.  "And I can't give it to him."  Her eyes started watering  a bit.  "So I'm giving him all I can, and if that means being calm and just being with him, so be it."  Her lip started quivering when she looked back at him.  I pulled her close.  

"You really love him, don't you?"  I asked.  She nodded.  She pulled away and went back to Josh, who was now coughing in his sleep.  She kissed his cheek and brushed a strand of hair from his face. 

"Can you watch him for a few minutes?"  She asked without looking up.  "I need to call his family."

"Now?" I replied looking at the clock.

"There his family Matty. Do you really think that they'll be sleeping?"  I nodded, understanding.  I dragged her desk chair to the bed side, and she got up, taking the phone with her, to the other room.  I sat down and looked at Josh.

"You're a fucking asshole,"  I told him quietly.  "but I'm glad your back."