The Lie In Your Promise

new beginning?

NEXT MORNING 6:30 am

I wake up by my alarm still tired from yesterday. Looking myself in the bathroom mirror, my heart breaks once again. Eyes puffy from crying all night, tear stained cheeks. How did I end up like this? The eyes that once shone the brightest were now devoid of all emotions. I must have sinned to recieve such a punishment.

Flashback

Aunt- " y/n, its only you who is causing yourself to suffer. Stop it. Forget him for good and move on."

Present

Can I do that? For 2 years his memories tormented me then how can I suddenly forget him just because they want me to?
They don't understand. The love I had for him. The lies he told me. He promised me forever but where is he now? I see him. I see him everyday, laughing with his friends, smiling to other girls and going on with his life. Was it that easy for him? To forget me? Does he not think about me ever? Did he ever loved me? Or was it me being delusional all along?
How can someone whom you trust with all your life leave like that? How can he throw away my love like that? All those years of us? Our memories? Did they not mean anything to him?

Knock knock

"Y/n, come out now. We need to talk" my aunts voice brings me back to the reality. I wash my face first. It was like I couldn't even look at myself like that.
After having a shower and changing I went downstairs.

Aunt- " I'm sorry y/n, I came off too strong last night. "

"No, please don't apologize aunt." I try to stop her.

Aunt-" no y/n. I really am sorry. I should have been more understanding. But you know you are like a daughter I never had. Its just hard to see you breaking like that. But-"

"I'll do it" I cut her in between.

"What?"

Y/n- " you were right aunt. I-I will do it. I will complete my studies and m-move on with my l-life".

Just as I feel tears coming back in my eyes, she hugs me tightly, like she was afraid to let go. And I breakdown yet again, right there, in front of her for the first time.

Y/n-" will it stop? Ever? Aunt! I can't take it anymore. Please make this feeling go away. I can't bare this pain anymore. I-I'll do everything but just make it go away".

That time she cried with me, promising that it will be alright. I hope her promises are not hollow like him.

Time skip- 1:22 pm

Finally, gathering the remaining strength i had, i open my laptop filling out the forms to all the universities that will be willing to take me.
Aunt helped me as it was getting too much for me. I decided to make some tea for her while she was filling out those forms for me.

Finally done with the forms, we sat together having tea and not talking about anything. I'm glad she didn't asked anything again because I just didn't had it in me to carry out any conversation.

She made me see hope that I thought never existed. Maybe I can have a future too. But my naive heart would just not let go of him. When did I made my whole life about him? Was i as important to him as he is to me? No. Had I been important, he would be here now. With me.

"y/n! Y/N!" Aunt Jane calls me.

"Yes ?"

"Let's go for a walk. Sitting here thinking about him will do you no
good" she says.

And just like an obedient girl, I wear my shoes and go with her. Why can't she understand changing environments and surroundings won't stop me thinking about him. Because he's in my mind! In My heart!

I was sitting on a bench looking at all these kids playing, careless about all the worries.

Flashback

The kid flashes me a heartwarming smile as I give him that chocolate bar. I love kids.

"Thank you aunty. My mom told me to thank you for taking me back home the day I got lost" he says innocently.

Y/n -" No need to thank me. But don't go too far from home next time okay? Stay in this park only. Mumma will pick you up from here".

"Yes"- kid

"Promise?" Y/n

"Promise" he attaches his pinky with mine sealing our promise.

Suddenly I feel his arms snake around my waste backhugging me. Its him. Kim namjoon. My heart can recognize his.

"Someday, we'll have our own kids and I would love to see you play with them, scold them and shower them with all the love darling" namjoon whispers in my ear.

" oh! I didn't knew you were thinking that far namjoon."

"What's there to think about? I was not thinking. I know that someday we will have our little family just like everyone else. And I will make you the happiest."
End of Flashback

Without me realizing, he overtook me again. And my eyes surrendered to him once more. I close my eyes letting the fresh tears fall down my cheeks. But before aunt could realize it I wipe them out.

How foolish of me to even think I could be happy.