The Lie In Your Promise

Pain

SHOCKED.
The expression i wore upon seeing him again. After all these years, there he is in front of me. Kim Namjoon.
My eyes fills with tears again. The salty water that stays in them all the time.

He had an unreadable expression on his face upon seeing me. Shock? Maybe. But it was sure he didn't wanted to see me. Not ever.

"Y-y/n?" I heard him calling my name.

I could feel the loud beating of my heart. I hate him. I hate him then why? Why is he here? Just when I wanted to move on, when I thought of having a future without him, he came back. Why? Don't I deserve to be happy?

My feet moved on them own. Away from him. I stepped backwards, not wanting to be near him. I turned around to leave. Just when I was about to go, I felt him holding my wrist. Stopping me.

NAMJOON's POV

Y/n? What is she doing here? Am I hallucinating?

I was shocked to see her standing in front of me. I never expected to see her again. Not after two years. Not after we never contacted each other after that day.

She looked different. Lifeless. Pale. Sad. She was not like the y/n I knew. The girl I fell in love with. Unable to look at her damaged self I focus my gaze to her eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes. But what I saw was a emotionless gaze staring back at me. Even though her eyes were filled with tears, I could tell they never expressed any emotion other than sorrow.

Whom am I staring at? Is she the same girl that I once loved?

She seemed weak, fragile. I felt the urge to hold her, to protect her from whatever she was scared of.

A-am i the reason she's like this? No. No

She slowly takes her steps backward. Away from me. Just as she was about to go, to leave me, I don't know what came over me, I held her hand. Not wanting her to go. Not just yet.

"Y/n! Oh my god! Its really you"

"But what happened to you? How are you? I-"

I stop seeing her looking somewhere and not at me. I followed her gaze. She was looking at my hand holding hers. I looked back at her, she looked disgusted? With me? I slowly let go of her.

Before I could ask her something ,we heard the door of the bookstore open. Miss choi.

Y/n POV

Miss choi came back. I went to her not wanting to be with him anymore. I felt suffocated under the same roof as him.

Miss choi- Y/n? Are you okay? You are sweating! Are you not feeling well?

I nod my head, not finding my voice to speak.

Miss choi- you can leave then. Take a rest. I'll see you tomorrow. Take care.

I nod again and ran out of the store not looking back.

Why did he came back! He looked the same but more handsome. I thought I hated him then why do he have this power over me. Still.

Whom am I lying to? I can never hate him. Never. No matter how much I tell myself but this heart still longs for him. Why can't I move on like him? Why can't I stop loving him! What did I ever do to deserve this pain. When will it end.

I came back home and go straight to my room. On my bed, crying in my pillow, just like I always have.

I-im in pain. So much pain. Mom. Make it stop please. Somebody. Please end it. I've suffered enough. I can't take it anymore.

Unable to take it anymore. I rummage through the contents on my side table. Pills. I need pills. Finally founding the bottle of sleeping pills, I take out one and swallow it. Slowly I felt myself calming down. I lay back on my bed and let the darkness consume me.

Warning- never take sleeping pills without doctor's consent. It is dangerous.