Fall Into Me

2 | Decapitating Unsuspecting Ponies

Theia Aurae Frost

"Hey! Wait up!"

I stand in place with my bag on my shoulders. My head hurts, I want to go home and preferably read a smutty romance book. But, I wait for Theo.

"Yes?"

"Uh, Theia right? You coming to Miles' party?" Theo is a few good inches taller than me. 6'4" I think. Damnit, he has pretty eyes. They're brown like mine. And I also kinda wanna run my hands through his hair that would probably feel like clouds, no doubt. 

"Hm? Oh, uh no, yeah no," I ramble on. Not that I have a vendetta against Miles, but I went on a few dates with him and nope. And, I'd much rather stay home with my sister watching the wretched My Little Pony and eat my mom's grilled cheese than go to a party at a dude's house who doesn't like Brooklyn Nine-Nine. 

Should've heeded to the obvious red flags.

"I'm sorry, what?" Theo looks at me confused. Like a golden retriever. Cute.

"I'm, uh, not going, no," I clarify. I continue down the hallway, fiddling with the ring on my thumb. Theo walks with me.

"Why not? This is like probably the last party of high school ever." He presses on. I'm getting annoyed now. Smile, he's just making conversation.

"Not really my thing," I politely reply. "I have to go now though, need to pick up my sister." I much open the door exiting the school for the last time. The entire class is here, some talking, some perched on top of their cars, some taking pictures. I wanna do those things too. 

But I can't. I don't have anybody to do those things with and that's entirely my fault. Friendship is a two way street, I realize way too late.

Theo lets out a quiet, "'kay, bye," that I almost miss thanks to the loud chatter around me.

I turn to say the same, but Theo's engulfed by a huge group of people. I walk away feeling bad. But I shouldn't. I don't deserve to, I push people away, I walk out on them, I don't even try.

I leave behind the school and all its memories that constrict my being. I try to. But I can't, I could still go find Brandon and Eli, say a final goodbye. Find Sonia and hug her and threaten her to text me as often as she can. Find Lydia and tell her I've had a crush on her for a while now. But I don't do any of that.

I want to so bad, but I can't move.

I'm a coward.

I'm weak.

I'm fucking pathetic.

With trembling hands, I open my car door and drive away from the place that I've been to almost everyday for the past four years. And I might just be driving away from some of the most amazing friendships I could have ever had.

 ~~~

I'm driving home after an exhausting day that could not be over soon, with Kiara in the backseat singing along to Show yourself  from Frozen II. Pretty sure this is punishment for chickening out earlier. 

Fuck you, instant karma.

Once my sister's private concert concludes, she requests that I reduce the volume so we can "talk." Honestly, I'm terrified. 

"How was your day?" I ask first. What the saying? Offence is the best defence? 

"Great. How 'bout you?" Kiara asks staring into my soul through the rear view.

"It was, uh, good," I state. Please, don't follow up.

"Good." She stares at the dashboard and back at my soul. Damn her shark eyes. "Is that why Pinkie Pie has been b-be-beh, uh, you know un-headed." I am being interrogated by an eight year old who can't pronounce beheaded. Great.