So be it

Guts

I guessed the animal to be this planet's equivalent of a deer. It was clearly lame or wounded, one of its legs never touching the ground. I tried to keep as silent as possible, my eyes constantly moving to Jinx's barely visible figure a few meters away. My hand sweated around the shaft of the makeshift spear and I could only hope I would not do something stupid.

Surely I could not outrun a deer but I could hope to corner it. Hell if I knew what I would do if the animal came toward me. It was a spear not a javelin and even if it had been a javelin I was certain I would miss if I tried to throw it.

Jinx's outstretched hand told me to wait still. I tensed waiting for the signal to do something.

"Now!" someone yelled and I ran. I ran as fast as I could even as the deer tried to escape. Even lame it was quick. I was lucky, it tried to pass a bare meter away from me. Thankfully for once my reflexes worked right. I felt the spearhead, no more than hardened wood, hit something and then it was ripped from my hands as the deer moved away.

I turned to follow, my eyes immediately seeing my spear still stuck at the deer's side. At least I had not completely missed. The next thing I knew was the vibrating spear that struck the treetrunk just next to me.

I must have whimpered and it was only luck that stopped me from wetting myself. I shook my head, my eyes wide. Slowly I turned to look in the direction it came from. Linda was looking at me horrified. I glared at her but the more logical part of me reminded me of the deer.

I ducked under the spear shaft as I tried to follow the animal's hobbled escape. I jogged more than ran, even jogging was hard through the thick undergrowth. Someone was in front of me and I followed in their footsteps. I had no idea of how to track a deer in the forest.

It felt like I was jogging for hours but it must have been only minutes. Others passed by me, faster and fitter. I did not worry about that. I was certain that on this planet fitness would come of its own accord. The lifestyle demanded it.

Finally I reached the small circle of people around the exhausted deer. It was still alive as the others looked at it. I shook my head once and stepped into the circle. Sometimes I wondered at people.

My hands trembled as I fumbled the knife out of my belt. The deer thrashed as I grabbed hold of the tiny protrusions on its head before slashing its throat. I was brutal in my cut as fear that I would do it wrongly and make the animal suffer even more than it did already flooded me.

Blood spurted from the wound but I felt the deer collapse immediately. My stomach churned for a moment but I swallowed quickly keeping the automatic nausea down. The silent redhead, Lily or Lil' Red as Jinx had taken to calling her, turned abruptly and vomited into the undergrowth. I had to swallow again.

Thank the gods for Jinx, who came just then, Gloria at her side. I was alarmed for a moment as a long scratch marred Gloria's face but it was not even bleeding. Jinx snorted at us all before competently walking to my side.

"Good job, Teach," she said in a low voice and I nodded. It was a hack of a job and pure luck that we had gotten the deer and well I knew it. Still it felt good in spite of that. Our first real effort at hunting and it had succeeded. A part of me danced wildly in glee and relief.

Gloria's voice was loud in the silence of the forest. "We need to move it to camp."

I cleared my throat in what had become my unconscious signal over the last couple of days that there was something I wanted to say. Gloria turned to me expectantly.

"We need to dress it first," I said quietly, for her only. A soft snigger came from behind me but I ignored it. Some of our little group scoffed at me for my ways. Not for my advice oddly enough but simply because I disliked talking to them, addressing my remarks to Gloria or Jinx, even Linda at a pinch.