So be it

The coward's way

I opened my eyes, sitting up, almost in a panic. It took me a moment to realise that Gloria was next to me, shaking me out of sleep.

There was a bit of light but not enough to clearly see yet. A waterbottle was thrust into my hands and I drank eagerly.

Finally I stood up, letting the blanket fall from my body. Gloria looked at me, her eyes in the shadows still at the time just at dawn. I nodded at her when she gestured towards the edge of the hillock.

I gathered my rucksack and the blanket in my hands before making my way there. I had barely sat when Gloria came to sit beside me. I looked at her questioningly. She should be trying to get some rest after her watch.

"Sorry. The little bitch can't get up for all her talking," she said hoarsely.

"Huh?" I was unintelligent so early with no coffee and no cigarettes. It hit me just then. No more cigarettes. Ever. My breath caught. That I would have never imagined. I almost wanted to cry. I shook my head instead. No cigarettes. I would survive. I would.

"Amanda. You know the one you put in her place yesterday?" Gloria whispered drawing me from my half-asleep meanderings about cigarettes and nicotine highs.

"The CEO?" I asked sleepily before what I had said quite registered in my brain. When it did I blushed, shaking my head. I had to wake up and quickly.

Gloria laughed softly. "That's as good a nickname as any... Teach..."

I blushed again and Gloria laughed. I guessed the sky had lightened enough for her to see the flush on my cheeks. A hearty slap on the back, unexpected as it was, almost made me pitch forward.

I turned angrily at whoever had dared to touch me. Twinkling eyes and a half-smirk met my outrage. Jinx arched her eyebrows at me. Clearly a morning person. What could I say? A damned morning person! Early morning and without coffee, too!

I grunted at her. Outraged as I was, I could not help but be slightly amused. My amusement must have shown for she smiled at me. It was more of a deep smirk really but I took it for a smile. The twinkle in her eyes made it so.

I inclined my head. Who would have thought the serious killer I met yesterday would have a playful side? I looked toward the east as the whitish sun started to show over the horizon.

It was peaceful but I could not abide it for long. My eyes turned to the plain beyond whence we had travelled yesterday. There were still people there, visible even in the early light. Too many of them.

A sense of urgency filled me. I didn't know why. Just something in the desultory milling of people down in the plain made me uneasy. Very uneasy.

I turned to Gloria. She looked at me and her eyes were narrowed. She sighed once.

Her voice was low. "They're sleeping yet. And we did say we'd talk this morning."

I looked away. I did not want to answer. At least not with the first thought that came to my mind. Fools all of them. More fool me.

Jinx's smoky tones were low, almost too low to be heard. "We need to get out of here, don't we?"

I looked back down the plain. The milling seemed a bit more frantic to my eyes, in spite of the early hour. Something almost reached my ears but there was little wind. Still my uneasiness grew.

I nodded at Jinx's previous question. I didn't know why but something told me that we had to go. We were too near still. Too near.

"It's early still," Gloria murmured, I think more to herself than to me.