Poems

I loved you.

From the moment that we met,
You have always been on my mind.

I knew that I loved you,
Just maybe not to this extent.

I knew that I loved you when at 4am I caught myself spending all my time smiling down at the technology in my hand.
Hopelessly in love
Like some lovesick idiot.

Because whether I liked it or not,
I was in love with you.

Maybe it was because of your jokes from our junior high math class,
Or the way you laughed at yourself when you made a simple mistake.
Or the way you made me feel when I wasn't having a good day.
Or even from the way you would hold my hand around school.

You've always been there.

I still can look around my room and find your letters and little lovenotes,
Scattered about like loose hair pins
But I don't know whether to laugh or cry
At the fact that I still have them.

I still remember the look on your face
The day that you first kissed me.

Shocked, surprised, nervous and
Happy.
You were so happy.

I look at you now,
But you never dare
To look back.

Our teenage dreams
And impossible ideas that we had hoped would one day come true
Are now nothing but
Hopeless fairytales.
The stuff of fiction.
Stories that only mere children could
Ever believe.

And out of everything,
I'm not sure if I want to remember
Or forget what we were.

Because while your smile still
Haunts my mind
And stains my dreams,
It paints every corner of my nightmares.
"Nightmare" may
Not be the word to use
Because that's the only place that even
Feels real anymore
In this fucked up reality of mine.
Where I'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine.

But please,
Out of all of this
If you could just do me one favour...

Forget about me and how I was,
And all that we were.

Forget me but please,
Don't forget that I
Really
Truly did
Love you.