Stoned & Crazy: A Bruno Mars Fan-Fiction.

Stoned & Crazy #12: Grilled Cheese & Broken Dreams

I wrote this one waaaaaaay back in the summer and I finally decided to finish it and release it. I'm hoping as the year goes by, Bruno will release his album and I'll be writing a bunch of new content. :)

Incase you were wondering, Robin Thicke did actually throw shade at Bruno. I don't know how liable this source really is but, here's the link: (http://perezhilton.com/2013-08-05-robin-thicke-shade-bruno-mars-daft-punk-blurred-lines/?from=post#.VspjplQrLIU)

I hope you guys enjoy! ♥

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(Bruno's P.O.V.)~Tour Bus~Afternoon

"Man, what are you doing?" Ryan says as he lights up a joint. "What does it look like i'm doing?" I grab the toaster and turn it sideways. "Setting the bus on fire." He scoffs. "Whatever man, this is grilled cheese making of the future. Watch and learn!" I grab a 2 slices of bread and a piece of cheese. "Should I take notes?" He laughs. "It wouldn't kill you, smart ass." I put the bread in the toaster. "Scope this shit out, Ryan! We got the toaster turned side ways so the cheese doesn't stick to it and we don't have waste time grilling both sides because they're both in here. Can you say genius?" I smile. He puffs out some smoke. "I gotta say dude, that is pretty dope." He admits. "I know right!" I cheer. "What's that smell?" Jamareo says as he walks by. "That my friend, is the smell of the future." I say. "Really, because the future smells burnt." Kameron interjects. "Stop player hating, Kameron. You're just jealous because when my idea gets around, I'll get famous." "You're already famous, Bruno." Ryan takes another puff. "SEE! IT'S WORKING IT'S MAGIC ALREADY!" I cross my arms in victory. "Okay, is Jessica on the bus again? Why am I smelling burnt food?" Phil says. "Jessica's a good cook!" I say. "Bruno, she's not on the bus, I checked, thoroughly, you don't have to lie." Kam says. "But—-" "But, nothing dude, remember when she brought that noodle thing to our baby shower?" Eric interrupts. "Had me glued to the toilet for days man." Phred says. "Are you guys not smelling this....orrrrr....?" Jimmy comes out of the back. "Yeah, man seriously." Dwayne fans the air. "It's the future of breakfast guys!" I smile. Ryan walks over to me. "Dude, I think your future is stuck in the toaster." He puts down his joint and turns the toaster right side up. "Dammit!" I grab a fork. Ryan snatches it away from me. "Dude, don't do that." "GUYS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON BACK THERE, IT'S GETTING SMOKEY UP HERE." Dre shouts from the drivers seat. "Bruno's future just burst into flames." Kam says. "No it hasn't." A fire starts. "It has now." Kam laughs. I turn my back. "SHIT!" I panic. Ryan backs away. "What are you doing man? HELP ME!!" "Are you crazy? The amount of chemicals I have in my hair right now, you want me to end up like Michael Jackson in that Pepsi commercial?" "FUCK!!" I yell. The fire starts spreading. Dre pulls the bus over. "EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!" I run out of the bus. Everyone else follows. Dre comes in with a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire. He comes out coughing. "Okay, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Dre asks angrily. "Well, Bruno——-" "Ryan's joint caught the bus on fire!" I interrupt Ryan. "What? No, you're stupid grilled——" "He put down his joint over by the toaster and it like exploded into flames." i interrupt him again. Everyone stares at him. "What? Come on guys, I didn't start this fire! Bruno's stupid sideways grilled cheese did!" He pleads. "I don't know man, you did run away from those flames pretty fast." Phil says. "Oh, so ya'll were just gonna let me die in the fire? Ya'll can't wake a fella up?" John comes out of the bus coughing. "I may be small, but I still matter dammit." He crosses his arms. "Sorry man." Dre says. "Who started this fire anyway?" John asks. "BRUNO!" "RYAN!" Ryan and I both say simultaneously. "You know what, I don't care anymore. Everyone just get back on the bus." Dre says angrily. We all go in behind him. Ryan punches me. "Ow! What the hell man?" "You know you started that fire, Bruno." Ryan glares at me. "Yeah, I do know YOU started that fire, RYAN." Ryan rolls his eyes and sits down at the table. I walk over into the kitchen area and grab the burned grilled cheese. I look around, then take a bite. "FOR FUCKS SAKE!" Dre shouts. I quickly spit out the burned grilled cheese. Dre storms into the main part of the bus. "It won't start up!" Dre yells. "What?!" Kam says. "The bus won't start up, probably because of that stupid fire." Dre says as he grabs his phone. I glare in Ryan's direction. "I DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT!" Ryan yells. "Yeah and neither did OJ Simpson." Phil shakes his head. "I'm serious guys. Ugh, what the hell." Ryan crosses his arms. "Well, that's that. I just got off the phone with AAA (Triple A) and someone let our policy expire." Dre glares at me. "WHAT? It was Jessica's job to send the money...oh." "So what are you saying?" Eric says. "We're stuck out here." Dre says. "WHAT?! But there's a show tonight! I can't let the hooligans down." "It's not like you haven't let the down before." Ryan hisses. "What's that suppose to mean?" I cross my arms. "Cool it, guys. We gotta figure out how to get to the venue before showtime." Jimmy says. "Well there is one way..." I say.