More Than Enough || Toru Oikawa X Reader

|94| Shall We?

"It's smaller than I remember," you raise your head from your knees to see your father.

You didn't run off far, just away from everyone. You're inside the school but in the close off area. You're hiding under the stairs in the dark and surprising, it's clean. You brought your knees to your chest and place your head down.

"How did you find me?" you ask him as you watch him unbutton his blazer and loosen his tie. He then crawls in and sits next to you, "You'll get your suit dirty," you say weakly.

"It's just a suit," your father says. You don't say anything and there's this silence between you and your father for a few seconds until he speak up, "You know, when your mother was pregnant with you, she would play and listen to all kind of music. And whenever she played the piano, you would make little movement as if you were playing with her," your father says with a smile as he smiles at the memory.

You look at him as you lay the side of your head on your arms, "When you were a baby, you love to dance around and listen to music. You alway sang without a care in the world. Wether you said the right words or not, you loved it and you love doing it in front of an audience because it alway made them smile. You would even get your cousins to sing with you as it was alway better to have fun together than alone," your father tells you.

"You were bright as a child. Taking care of everyone, making sure no one ever felt left out. Curious about everything and giving everything a try to see what you like or don't like..." your father looks at you as sees you avoiding eye contact, "I wonder where those times went..." he adds.

"I grew up... We all did..." you remind him as you hug yourself tightly, feeling your nails on your skin despite the clothing you're wearing.

But then your grip loosen when you felt a gentle touch on your head. You look at your father and see him smiling, "Yes, you did. And you have grown up to be a bright and beautiful woman. I have never been so proud of you," you felt like crying, "I know it may seem scary to be standing in front of all those people but try to remember all the times when you weren't scared to perform in front of that many people. The times you enjoyed singing and hearing the joy of the audience," your father suggest but you shake your head.

"No," you look at him as you lower your legs to the ground. A hand goes on the ground for support at the other moves around as you talk. Your father removed his hand from your head, "It's not that easy, dad! It never has been. Yes, there has been a time where I can do it all. Where I wasn't afraid of anything but I grew up dad! I am terrified and you can't accept that. If it was easy for me to stand on that stage and sing or even speak, I wouldn't be here right now but I am because I am scared! Not because I want to be. I can't control it! If I could I would but I can't and I'm sorry---"

"Hey, clam down--"

"No!" you yell as tears fill your eyes, "You, mom, Jia, Mark, Aunty, Uncle... Everyone! Frickin everyone! You all expect so much from me! From day one, I have been doing everything I can. I grew up quickly to take care of everyone, to protect everyone because it what is expected of me," the tears leave your eyes as you look at your father.

His eyes widen at the sight of it. Yeah, it's not his first time seeing you cry but something is different about today, "I do everything I can to make everyone proud! The only reason I tried everything because as a kid, I thought it would make you and mom proud! That someday one of you would show up and support me and tell me I did good. I wanted to see you guys in the audience. I wanted to make you both proud so badly and prove myself. I did everything that is expected of me but that only cause more pressure on me. Every time I was called lazy was just me being depressed and losing every motivation to do anything but I stood my ground, slapped myself and moved and did what I had to because I was scared I was going to be a disappointment!" you're talking quick.