Without you

Chapter one

Carina's pov*
"Hey, sexy why aren't you at home with your wife it's your day off" asked Amelia when she noticed me walking to my office.
"She got called into a 5 alarm and I got anxious just sitting at home waiting for her to get home if she even makes it home.  so I came here just so that I was already here in case she got hurt or something" I said nervously.
"You know I'm surprised you look as good as you do with all the worrying you do about Maya" said Amelia as we walked into my office.
"She's my wife I'm going to always worry about her she's a firefighter" I explained as I started looking through some paperwork
"I know let's pretend I never said anything" said Amelia as she started looking through her phone.
"Do you ever think that she'll stop being a firefighter?" asked Amelia out of nowhere nearly scaring me in the process.
"mi hai quasi spaventato but anyways not anytime soon no I know she wants to become the Battalion Chief" I answered.
"I honestly have no clue what that means but okay I need to go because I'm being paged I'm hoping it's a good head trauma because I'm seriously extremely bored" said Amelia as she left my office.
"Preoccuparmi non mi renderà brutto" I said to myself even if it were possible I'm pretty sure Maya would still think I'm beautiful hopefully. Okay, Carina no needs to start being insecure you are gorgeous.
"Hey Carina" said Bailey as she knocked on my door.
"Hey is everything okay" I asked worriedly.
"Oh with Ben yeah he's dropped a few patients off he said the fire is causing some serious damage and to tell you Maya is okay right now" explained Bailey causing me to release a breath that I didn't realize that I was holding.
"Sì grazie" I said as I went back to my paperwork.
Maya's pov*
"Okay guys we are on search and rescue but I need you Gibson go help Ben with the aid car Travis I want you to help the other team with the fire. Miller I want you to take the first two floors along with the third floor with Hughes while I and Andy take the rest now remember don't wander off alone don't lose sight of each other got it they haven't informed me of anything else but if they tell you to evacuate the building do so I don't want to explain to your partners or your family that you died now let's move it" I yelled.
"Captain bishop you and your team need to be quick as possible the structure isn't looking to well right now the fire is on the 10th floor as well as the third floor we have multiple people on those floors so get moving this apartment has 15 floors " said Captain Hansen.
"You heard the captain let's go" I said as we rushed into the building.
"Alright let's get moving Herrera let's get these people out of here and let's be quick" I said as we started going to different doors getting everyone evacuated.
"Captain bishop and Herrera you guys need to get out of there the building looks like it's going to collapse that's an order leave the building now" shouted Captain Hansen.
"You heard the lady let's get out of here" said Andy as we started going down the stairs or really what's left of them since the fire was both on the 10th floor and the third floor but from what Vic said the fire wasn't that bad on the third floor.
"Yes let's go we just need to be very careful okay don't leave my sight Andy" I ordered the last thing I needed was to lose my best friend.
"Yes, captain" said Andy by the time we made it to the third floor we could already tell the floor was going to give out on the slightest pressure which means no matter how we go about this we are going to get seriously hurt and I'm going to pray to god that carina doesn't kill me.
"Should we jump out of the window?" asked Andy.
"Andy I have a fucked ankle from the Olympics we need to be very careful okay we can do this it's not anything we haven't done before we can make it and I promise to make sure I get you out of here to the best of my ability as your captain" I said to Andy as we carefully started walking to the other set of stairs that will lead us to the second floor.
"I'm not going to lie Maya I'm a little scared what if we don't make it" said Andy.
"We got this we just need to hurry" I said not letting her know that I was equally as scared because we both knew the fire was getting worse with how long the other team was taking to put it out.
"Watch out Andy" I said before tackling her down with me landing on top of her as the building collapsed.
Vic's pov*
"We need to help them" I said nervously while waiting for them to get out of the building. It's now a waiting game for us to see if they would make it out before the building collapsed.
"Captain Hansen ordered us not to go back into the building Maya would want us following the orders that were given to us besides we need to keep helping with the survivors" said Jack as we saw the building collapse a second later and still no return of Maya and Andy.
"Come on 19 this is now a search and rescue we need to get to bishop and Herrera" said Captain Hansen.
"They are most likely dead" said Lopez I never really liked the guy his ego needs to be knocked down a few pegs and I wish I could be the one to knock it down.
"I don't care it's our job to get them out of there they are, family and Captain, said she'd do anything in her power to make sure we got home safely now it's our turn to make sure she and Andy make it out of here alive" I said as Jack gathered 19 up.
"Okay 19 bishop and Herrera are still in the building we need to find them and get them out of that mess we aren't stopping until we find them we owe them that much do you understand me" said Jack.
"Yes sir" we said as we rushed to the scene moving a bunch of fallen building pieces when we heard a pass device going off.
"Guys it's too late there is no way bishop and Herrera survived the collapse" said Lopez.
"For the love of God can you please shut the fuck up we aren't leaving without our Captain or lieutenant Herrera they could still be alive for all we know" I said as we continued moving more rubble out of the way right now everyone is helping us even the chief.
I can't lose my best friends, not after everything we are the only three females on station 19 I need them.
"GUYS I FOUND THEM" yelled Captain Hansen after what felt like hours it honestly probably was.
"Ben we need to get both aid cars prepared for them we will put Bishop in 19's aid car Andy is going to be with 23" said Jack causing Ben and Ally to run to get the gurney from both aid cars.
"Andy can you hear us come on please let us know if you are okay" I begged.
"S-she saved me" said Andy who has a laceration going down her face Maya was currently on top of Andy as if she was shielding Andy from everything that was falling around them but Maya doesn't seem to be moving at all so I checked her pulse and realized that I couldn't feel it. We noticed that she had a metal rod sticking out from her back I can't be too sure if it went through her and into Andy but we both know that if it was moving Maya could be fatal.
"W-We were so close t-to making it o-out t-then I felt her tackling me down and then it went dark" coughed Andy.
Carina's pov*
"accidenti mi manca mia moglie" I said to myself while looking at the notes I've written down for my research when someone knocked on the door.
"Come in" I said while still looking over my notes.
"Carina" I heard someone say as they opened the door and then closed it behind them causing me to look up to see who it was that called my name.
"Oh hi Vic why are you here did someone get hurt"I asked since I knew they had a structure fire.
"I wanted to talk to you personally and yes Carina I'm sorry to tell you this but Andy and Maya got stuck when the building collapsed they were close to leaving the building when it collapsed when they were inside of it still and I'm sorry to be telling you this I wish I didn't have to tell you but Maya didn't make it the injuries were too severe Andy is currently in surgery but Andy said Maya tried to keep her from getting hurt" explained Vic but I couldn't process what she was telling me I didn't know-how.
"So where's my wife who's working on her" I asked as I stood up causing Vic to sit me back down gently.
"Carina sweetie she didn't make it" said Vic as she had tears going down her face.
"C-Can we or um can I go see her I w-want to say goodbye" I said starting to panic because how am I going to do this without Maya when I lost my brother I still had Maya by my side telling me everything was going to be okay. What if everyone at station 19 doesn't want me around anymore because they only started talking to me because I was dating their Captain and then I married Maya. What if they decide that they don't want to be friends with me.
"I'm not sure if we can but I'm sure we can ask Bailey to see and then we need to check in on Andy I'm sure she doesn't even know yet" explained Vic as she stood up and grabbed my hand as we left my office.
"Vic and Carina" said Dr. Bailey who was currently sitting down with Ben.
"Hey Bailey Carina was wondering if she was allowed to see Maya and to tell her goodbye and I was wondering if there was an update on Andy" asked Vic.
"Yes Carina you can go see Maya I can have Dr. Shepherd go with you and as for Andy she's recovering nobody has gone to see her yet because she's been sleeping" said Dr. Bailey.
"I'll go talk to Andy while Carina says goodbye to Maya" said Vic.
"I was paged" said Amelia.
"Yes Dr. Shepard I need you to take Carina to see her wife please" said Bailee.
"Okay let's go Dr. Deluca-Bishop" said Amelia as we left the group of firefighters.
Andy's pov*
"It's nice to see you awake Andy" said Vic as she walked into the room.
"Well yeah as far as I know they said I don't have a concussion I bruised a few ribs and what not they said that Maya took most of the damage how is she by the way because I was in and out of it for a while" I said hoping that my best friend was okay and well so I can yell at her about how stupid it was to do what she did.
"Andy I'm so sorry to tell you this but Maya didn't make it her injuries were too severe the doctors said she took most of the damage I'm guessing that happened when we found her on top of you" explained Vic.
"No she's my best friend she is okay" I said.
"I'm so sorry Andy" cried Vic making me start to cry.
"She died protecting me we were close to leaving the building and I heard her shout to watch out and then she tackled me on the floor and then next thing I know everything went black for a second" I said trying to calm myself down.
"Oh god where's carina" I asked when I realized that even though I lost my best friend Carina had just lost her wife in a tragedy.
"Andy sweetie you need to calm down or a bunch of doctors are going to rush in here take a deep breath okay" said Vic gently.
"Sorry" I said as I took a deep breath.
"It's okay buddy now Carina went to go say goodbye to Maya one of her doctor friends took her but Carina is pretty out of it I don't think it's hit her that she just lost her wife I don't blame her when I told her she didn't believe me until I repeated myself but she's family so we are going to be there for her" explained Vic.
"Yeah we can help each other" I said.
"Yep that is correct well now I have to get going I'm going to let you sleep so you can continue to heal I think they said they were going to keep you overnight to be on the safe side" explained Vic.
"Okay that's fine will you be here to pick me up when it's time for me to go" I asked.
"Yeah, Travis stopped by your place to grab a few things for you" explained Vic as she stood up.
"Okay thanks of you see Carina can you have her come see me" I asked.
"Sure" said Vic as she kissed my cheek and then left the room.
"Maya you fucking idiot" I whispered to myself as I fell asleep.
Amelia's pov*
"Do you want me to go in with you or do you want me to stay outside?" I asked Carina we were currently standing by the door we have been for a while now but I knew better than to push her to go inside the room right now she had just lost her wife the last thing she needs is someone pushing her to do something if she wanted to stand here for a while before saying goodbye to her wife for the last time then that's what we will do.
"I honestly want to be alone but I just I don't know anymore ho appena perso mia moglie, non sono sicuro di cosa dovrei fare adesso" said Carina switching to Italian when I knew she didn't know how to express her feelings in English.
"I can come inside with you I can just stay in the corner or something and wait for you to be done and then we can do whatever it is you want after" I explained.
"I have to plan a funeral for her I need to take care of all of that" explained Carina.
"Hey hey that can wait for a second there is no need to rush that and I'm sure the other firefighters can help you with that or I can" I explained wanting her to know she didn't have to do this alone.
"I'm ready to say bye now" said Carina changing the topic I'll allow it just this once because like I said there is no rush.
"Okay let's go" I said as I opened the door and we walked into the room. I sat down in the corner of the room while Carina slowly walked up to where they had Maya's body. I watched her slowly lower the sheet from Maya's face causing her to break down into tears.
"Hi Bambina, I'm a little mad at you for leaving me here all alone but I just wanted to say goodbye I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this without you bella right by my side. It was supposed to be you and I against the world. You left me all alone but I can't be mad at you because you loved me and you always promised no matter how bad it gets at your job you would always do your best to come home to me and it's Bella I know you did everything in your power to get back to me and I could never be angry with you about that but you can relax now amore mio. You can finally live in a world where you aren't stressed or in pain. I'll eventually see you again Bambina who knows how long it will take but I just wanted you to know that eventually I'll be okay but not anytime soon. I'm going to let you rest now amore mio. Ti voglio bene" I heard Carina say as she broke down in tears.
"Come on sweetie why don't we get you home" I whispered to Carina.
"I want to go to my office and I want to be alone" whispered Carina as she left the room.
"Bishop I promise you I'll do whatever it takes to make sure your wife is okay. We are a family here and your station is a part of her family we won't let anyone happen to her I know you did your best to come back to her and that's all that matters" I said as  I left the room.